Billy has been walking around this week, reciting the same line from “It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown” over and over.
It's the scene where Lucy tries to get Charlie Brown, once again, to kick the football she's holding. She promises him that she means it this time, that she won't pull the ball away at the last minute. In fact, she even has a contract to that effect, which she shows him.
Of course, at the last minute, she pulls the ball away and Charlie Brown goes flying. “Curious thing about this document,” Lucy says. “It was never notarized.” That's the line that, for some reason, Billy can't get out of his head.
This got me thinking about a couple of things. First of all, the kids in Charlie Brown cartoons are really mean and terrible role models.
Secondly, I thought, OK, Bucko, if you're interested in contracts, let's make one for the summer. We have nearly three months at home ahead of us, me and you and Willow, and we need to establish some ground rules. So here goes ...
My SUMMER CONTRACT WITH BILLY
The house rule “Please don't poke Mama in the eyes” still stands. But let's agree not to share it repeatedly with guests or people at church. I'll take my chances with them.
I promise to keep your baby sister away from your train table if you promise not to sit on her. For long.
If you will nap for two hours every afternoon, I will buy you a car.
If a thunderstorm scares you, you can crawl into my bed with me and we'll watch cartoons the rest of the day.
If you force me to watch “The Great Pumpkin” more than five times in a row, I am entitled to throw the television out the window. Upstairs.
In the event that it rains three consecutive days in a row and you are unable to go outside, I reserve the right to call in the babysitter, lock the door of the playroom from the outside and drink heavily in my bedroom. You may paint anything within arm's length, including the aforementioned babysitter, until the sun comes out.
I promise not to loudly ask, “Have you done a poo-poo?” in public any more – after all, you'll be four next month – if you promise not to loudly proclaim “Chugga-chugga POOOOO-POOOOO!” in the library. (For supporting documentation, refer to the book “The Potty Train.”)
On the day you poop in the potty, I will sign the house over to you.
If you stumble and fall, I will be there to pick you up every single time, kiss it better, and immdiately apply a “Bang-aid” if required. In return, you promise not to seal your sister's eyes shut with Bang-aids.
At 5:30 each and every weekday, I transfer power of attorney over to your father. Any and all requests for juice, fixing of broken toys or watching of the “Great Pumpkin” must go through him until such time as I emerge from a hot bath with my game face on again.
I will throw you the birthday party of your dreams this year and every year ... if you promise not to grow up too fast.
If you will hold my hand this summer and put up with me, I'll hold yours and find joy in each and every day we share together.
Please sign at the left if you agree.
Love the contract
Tuesday June 29 2010 08:27:23 pm
AmandaDawnRN
Tuesday November 02 2010 04:30:38 pm
Eve (Tranquility & Turmoil)
I think this is a wonderful contract!
Did he stick to it? ;)
Isn't it funny how the cartoons and movies we watched as kids seem so innocent in our memories... until we watch them again as adults and realize how bratty all the kid characters actually are?! I noticed the same thing about Dorothy (from The Wizard of Oz) a few months ago when I finally got around to watching it again. That little girl needed a stern talking to and a time out!
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