LIFE IS A SPECTRUM
Today is supposedly Communication Shutdown Day. Thanks to The SITS Girls for letting me share my feelings on that autism awareness campaign -- and some cute pictures of my kids in Halloween costumes -- with my friends in the blogosphere. How do you feel about it?
I've established the fact that I can't cook. And that when I do cook, I frequently take short cuts. So when I saw the pre-cut Nestle Toll House orange jack o' lantern cookies, I thought, “Score!” Just pop 'em out, lay them on a cookie sheet, stick 'em in the oven, cook for 10 minutes. Done.
Pumpkin Pals! So happy to be eaten!
I had volunteered to provide two dozen cookies to Willow's Fall Festival party, and I thought the little orange sugar cookies would be the perfect complement to an 18-month-old's celebration of Halloween. I imagined myself impressing all the other parents by being that mom who freshly bakes cookies for the school party. (Maybe they wouldn't have noticed the 6-foot-high Nestle display in the Publix refrigerated section.)
My mistake came when I looked at the package and saw the jolly picture on the package of the jack o' lanterns with colored eyes and mouths. According to the package, you can use decorator gels to fill in the cut-outs and then your cookies will emerge from the oven practically laughing with Halloween happiness.
Well, I don't know what decorator gels are. I did, however, have some food coloring left over from Easter. How different could it be? It says it's for coloring food.
I'll eat YOU, little girl!
I got out the food coloring and some of the kids paint brushes and started painting away. I painted some with green eyes and smiles for the boys and some for pink eyes and mouths for the girls. I missed the part on the instructions where it said, “Do not over-fill.”
10 minutes later, my cookies emerged from the oven looking like something from the horror movie Pumpkinhead. The pink-eyed jack o'lanterns appeared to be bleeding from the eyes and mouth, and the black-mouthed (because the dark green came out black) boys' cookies looked like a warning against tooth decay. Some of them looked like they had grown mold.
Billy pointed at one girl cookie and summed it up: “That pumpkin has a hurchy eye.” Indeed.
So “hurchy,” in fact, that when presented with one of these horror cookies at the Fall Festival, an 18-month-old girl started to cry.
From now on, I'm going to be that mom that impresses everyone with how efficiently she orders from the bakery.
Thanks to The SITS Girls for sponsoring our 3-day “Boo!” blog challenge, just one of the fun reasons that I love being a member of this active blogging community.
Scary
Love the new blog layout.
In my opinion, if you make a baby cry with your baking skills, you're doing something right.
HAHAHAHAHA!
Man, we have a lot in common!
I think hurchy eyes are the bomb.
Pumpkins Gone Wrong...
Thanks for my morning giggle, Amanda! That's the problem with packaged foods...they always look so much better than they really are! Maybe you should send Pillsbury a letter...they might send you some coupons to buy more cookies!
Wendy
Definitely hurchy...
What the hell is decorator gel anyway? OH well. Halloween is supposed to be scary, right?
Got an email about decorator gel...
Turns out, this is a kind of food coloring in gel form that helps prevent "hurchy eyes" on cookies by staying where it's supposed to be and not seeping out in creepy ways all over your baked jack o'lanterns. Now I know!
HA! I love the "hurchy" eyes! I probably would have made the same mistake or heck I would have not colored them at all because I wouldn't realize that I needed the extra stuff until too late. Ooops :)
Oh em geee...this post had me laughing so hard...not at you, but WITH you!! I recently attempted to make cupcakes for my son's birthday to share with his friends at school. Nothing fancy, just Duncan Hines with icing from a tub....no big deal, right?! Apparently it WAS! NONE of them turned out well! I ended up making a detour by Kroger on the way to his party! :)
That made me laugh so hard. I love your ingenuity though! That comment "If you baking skills make babies cry, you're doing something right." is hysterical.
Tears of laughter!
You have got me crying with laughter! You are so funny! Your mom & dad are sitting in the lving room with me howling with laughter too. I just love how you tell on yourself. Love ya Big Sis!
Spring Chickens are the best. Congrats on your SITS day!
Welcome to my world :)
Sooooo glad to discover your blog, i love your take on life - especially about life on the spectrum - a topic close to my heart since about a year ago.
Hey Gurl-fren!
Well, how happy am I to find you on the interwebz? I, too, am the parent of a child with autism and a neurotypical child. I write about them in my other blog "The Adventures of Auti and Tippy". I love that you say there is so much more going on in your world than autism...so true!!! Can't wait to read more.
Total 13 comments
Today the SITS Girls are writing about being haunted by the ghosts of Halloween past. I'll admit it, I approached this Halloween haunted. By low expectations. By the memory of everything we did wrong last year with our overwhelmed and exhausted autistic child. And the year before that. Haunted by the disappointment I felt when my handsome astronaut collapsed in the living room floor, screaming for us to remove his costume, claiming to be "Itchy! Hot! Hurchy!" and any number of other negative adjectives that might or might not be recognized words in the English language.
Instead of trick-or-treating, we did this for 45 minutes on October 31, 2009:
October 2009: Epic Halloween Fail |
But my, oh my, what a difference a year can make:
October 2010: Look who's wearing a HAT! |
Last year, we didn't even attempt the cute NASA hat, because Billy couldn't bear to have his head touched. This year, he takes great pleasure in "Vogue-ing" in front of the mirror in his costume and hat.
He wore his costume for HOURS at the pre-K school Halloween party on Friday, while I stood back, practically agog at the unexpected success. He painted pumpkins, climbed inside the scary glow-in-the-dark cave for a Halloween story, completed two different fall crafts and even put his fingers (ever so briefly) into the unknown jar of yucky "guts" (pumpkin entrails).
Granted, he spent a good deal of time on the pre-K play porch dancing with a washcloth, but he was having a great time, and it was actually kind of an interesting dance.
Billy invents Washcloth Dancing. |
Painting pumpkins |
The meditating astronaut |
Boo! Gotcha! |
My happy astronaut |
And he's off! |
This Halloween, his new favorite thing is to say "Boo!" and surprise me, as you can see in the photo sequence above.
He has no idea how surprised I am.
I love it--what a great Halloween treat! He looks great, and so happy. Haven't checked in on your blog in a while--I have some reading to do! Keep it up, you're awesome!
That's Great!
How wonderful that Billy can enjoy Halloween now! What a difference! BTW, your new blog design looks great!
First of all, huge thumbs-up to your new rainbow-coloured banner! :)
And yes, what a difference a year (or two, or ten, or twenty) can make in the life of an autistic person! I'm so glad your son has gotten to the point where he can enjoy Halloween. His costume looks great!
In that second photo...
I don't know who Billy favors when you see him in person, but I can totally see you in Billy's face when he's wearing his hat!
I'm so glad he had so much fun at the party!
Adorable
He has one of those absolutely contagious smiles. I'm so happy to see he had a great time!
Success!
That is awesome! Sometimes the holidays are the best checkpoint to see where your child is one year later. I take Audrey to the same sensory-overloading winter carnival every year to see how she does, and she does better and better every year. Hurray for progress!
Billy Embraces Halloween...Yay!
I'm glad Billy had fun on Halloween this year!
Hmmm...washcloth dancing...I should try that. Can someone with almost no coordination do it?
Wendy
Happy Hurchy-ween!
@Lori: You're right -- his happiness on Friday and throughout the weekend was all the treat I needed. Well, that and about 400 mini-Snickers.
@Cheryl & @outoutout: Thanks for the thumbs up on the blog design. I have my creative sister to thank for the header and my hubby to thank for the general implementation and overhaul.
@Ginny Marie: THANK YOU. I take any sign of likeness between me and my kids to be a huge compliment. A lot of people say that Willow looks like Dave all the time. It's nice to think there are some of my genes in their SOMEWHERE.
@Ashley: Agree with you about the smile. It certainly is catching in THIS household :-)
@Lynn: What a very good point. It's easy to remember how well (or not well) things went at a particular holiday in previous years. Not so easy to remember we had a good or bad January 18th. I've got my fingers crossed that Audrey has the best winter carnival experience EVER this year. Hurray for progress indeed!
@Wendy: Having participated in washcloth dancing myself, I can GUARANTEE you that there is no coordination requirement :-)
Happiness
Your kiddos just shine with happiness! Love your blog and your family! Happy SITS day!
Total 9 comments
Are you ready to fall in love with Carter. Cause you will.
His awesome Mama, Tara from 3 Ps in a Pod, is guest-blogging this week, and yep, she's another one of my Spring Chicken Tribe from SITS. We're moms with kids whose needs are outside the box, and Tara's Carter was born prematurely at 29 weeks. He's now a happy, healthy (did I mention GORGEOUS) 10-month-old who has his own ideas about eating.
Tara blogs about her baby wearing, breast pumping, cloth diapering, dream feeding, rollercoaster riding family at Three Ps in a Pod. But this week, she's filling us in on her perspective on Halloween. If you drop in on her 3 Ps, be sure and tell her I said, "Hi!"
And by the way, I'm visiting at Four Plus an Angel today, where Jessica has kindly let me share my thoughts on neurodiversity. I think it's speaks so highly of her character that despite the fact our views on autism treatment/therapy are different, she lets me share my viewpoint with her readers.
Lots to read! Let's get started ...
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The Life of Halloween
Photo by Flickr user Miala
I’ll be the first to admit, I’ve never been crazy about Halloween. Well, maybe when I was a kid and at the age when trick-or-treating was still cool. But that was many years ago. However, now that I’m a mom, I’ve been thinking more and more about this holiday and it’s slowly reeling me back in. My thoughts have included the “life of Halloween” and the realization of how the activities and feelings associated with this holiday have changed so much over the years.
Halloween as a kid is such a magical time. A time full of parties, candy, and dressing up as our favorite characters! There’s nothing more fun than the thought of “What am I going to be this year?” Walking through the stores, looking at all the costumes and accessories, and knowing that you can be whatever you want to be on this one day! Shelves surround you, full of glitter, wigs, make-up, fake blood, fake teeth, masks, and everything else imaginable. Then, a couple aisles over, there’s all the candy. With that sight comes the excitement of trick-or-treating and the prospect of having mounds and mounds of candy to last for months! Oh, and don’t forget, carving pumpkins!
Then we grow older and trick-or-treating is no longer cool, but there comes a whole new excitement with this holiday. Parties! I’m not quite sure at what age I stopped trick-or-treating, but I’m sure it was a sad time. Come on, even adults like candy! But I remember going to my first Halloween party. It was in a dark garage. We played a game where we were blind folded and stuck our hand in a bowl of gooey something that ended up being slimy spaghetti noodles. Halloween music played and we had fun just talking and socializing. We also enjoyed the wonderful activity we liked to
call “toilet papering.” Now, apparently not everyone experiences this, as my husband never did. We snuck out in the dark of night to fill people’s trees with toilet paper. Oh, the memories.
Then we grow even older and graduate high school, some going off to college. Here comes a brand new meaning to Halloween - parties…of a different kind. You may also get together with friends to go to a haunted trail, haunted house, etc.
After college Halloween may bring yet another set of activities. You may purchase candy to pass out to trick-or-treating kids. Or you may attend yet another kind of Halloween party, a work party. My workplace would usually have a carry-in and do some Halloween activities that included passing out candy. Yes, candy! A little bit of the fun comes back.
Now I’m a mother and, like I said at the beginning, I sit here thinking of all the things I can’t wait to do with Carter. Some of them we will do this year even though he’s still little, like dress him up in a costume. But next year will be like a new beginning to Halloween. The magic that I felt as a child will all come rushing back, in parent form. The aisles and aisles of costumes, glitter, wigs, and masks will, again, be a part of my life. We’ll go trick-or-treating and sit on the floor sorting through the mounds of candy when we get home. We’ll start new family traditions, like going to a pumpkin
patch to pick out our pumpkins, carving the pumpkins together, and eventually we’ll have Halloween parties for Carter and all of his friends.
I feel like Halloween has come full circle, at least for me. Your journey through the life of Halloween may have not been the same as mine. Of course, we all experience different things as children and adults, and have different interests and traditions when it comes to any holiday. But I hope all of you enjoy this time of year and take a minute to think about your journey through the life of Halloween. Has the magic it had in the past come back to you?
Written by Tara from Three P’s in a Pod
http://3psmama.blogspot.com
Join the Spring Chickens!
Just wanted to also post a note to say if there are any moms of special needs kids out there blogging away who'd like to join our group of Spring Chickens, check us out! Just register (FREE, of course) with http://www.thesitsgirls.com and then find us in the Spring Chicken forum: http://www.thesitsgirls.com/groups/spring-chicken/. We'd love to connect with you :-)
Great post Tara, I can't wait for Halloween this year, my little ones are finally getting old enough to enjoy it.
Amanda thanks again for being my guest this week and I love the new header!!!
Thank you so much for allowing me to guest post and for the wonderful intro! And I love your new header as well :)
Halloween's almost here!
This post was wonderful, Tara, and really got me thinking about what to write this weekend for Halloween! I've been having some good Halloween memories, and I'm looking forward to taking my girls trick or treating on Sunday -- hopefully the weather will cooperate!
Grats!! :)
grats on your SITS day :) you have an awesome blog here.
Happy SITS day! :)
Happy SITS day!
Congrats!
Congrats on your SITS day. It is so awesome to fell all of the love. I hope you get tons and tons of comments.
You inspire me!
I have two little girls ages 2 & 3 (Madeline and Natalie) Madeline my 3 year old is in the beginning stages of being diagnosed with Autism. The part you wrote about joy...its so true. Some may not understand that they are not disabled but just differently abled. Congrats on your SITS day my fellow SITSta!
Congratulations on your SITS day
Amanda, congratulations on your big day! I loved reading your answers to the SITS girls' questions, especially the one about having more children. I can totally relate! I admire people who can so gracefully juggle the responsibilities of big families, but I know that personally, I'm not cut out for that role. My two little girls keep me plenty busy, engaged, entertained, and hovering just above the line between sane and totally squirrel-nut-zippy. I love your writing style and am definitely looking forward to reading more of your posts. It was wonderful to read about what a positive and supportive experience your Tribe has been (love the tribe name too!)
Again, congratulations! Warmest wishes, Jenn
Congrats on your SITS day. I have been really enjoying your blog this afternoon. :)
Life with Kaishon
Congratulations on having a SITS day! That is so exciting : ) Your blog is fascinating. Your children are so adorable (in their hats and without) : )
Happy SITS day!
Happy SITS day! What a cute blog you have!
Total 13 comments
Slow-Poke-A-Hontas: So named for the speed with which she moves when we are trying to get anywhere quickly.
I took a vacation today. Nowhere fancy, and the stay wasn't long, but for about two hours, I took a vacation from special needs parenting.
At first, I didn't know where I was. I mean, I realized that I was at my daughter Willow's preschool for her first-ever Halloween celebration, but I missed the sign that said, “Now entering the Normal Parenting Zone. Please stop hovering.”
School volunteering is old hat. But I'm always there as “Billy's shadow.” I'm so used to running interference, making apologies, settling Billy down, explaining why he doesn't want a candy cane or anything yellow or pudding to eat, that it truly didn't hit me until 30 minutes into Willow's party that she is FINE.
And I felt then what I'm feeling a little of now: Disloyal. The disloyalty came after the overwhelming relief but it was there, surprisingly, under the surface.
I felt like I had defected to another country. In this country, parents don't keep their hands on their children at all times. They stand back against the wall with their cameras, smile at their kids' shenanigans and occasionally glance at their watches.
There were occasional tears or tantrums, but looking into the faces of the parents consoling those children with a slight upturn at the corner of their lips, I saw no sign of the panic of the special needs parent. No, these tears were normal. These tantrums age-appropriate. No one was darting scared, paranoid glances around the room, afraid to see judgment in the eyes of other adults.
Standing there among them, taking occasional snaps of my child participating in the singing and dancing, sitting with her class, eating her snacks and fighting briefly over grapes, I allowed myself to take a few deep breaths and let my heart rate decrease.
There it was. The guilt. I felt guilty that I was enjoying this party more than I had ever enjoyed Billy's school parties. Not that I don't enjoy hanging out with my son – far from it. But school parties are rarely fun for him or us. Crowds of new people, an upset in schedule, weird food, a strange set-up to the room – it can spell disaster.
I felt guilty not just for Billy's sake, but on behalf of all my friends in the special needs parenting community who would never have this experience. I don't think for a moment that they're looking at my normally developing child longingly (particularly when I have two screamers at once). But this morning I felt like I needed to call each of them up and describe the sights and sounds of this whole new world, the way you might describe your first view of the Eiffel Tower or the first time you see a McDonald's menu written in French.
Like it or not, I'm a special needs parent who happened to then have a normally developing daughter. Billy made me a parent. He molded my parenting style years before Willow completed our family circle. He taught me to be a better person and showed me that I'm stronger than I believed possible.
Because the demands of parenting my autistic child are so great, Willow rarely gets the undivided attention of either of her parents. She tags along to Billy's school parties, his therapy, most of his play dates, and they do Kindermusik together. And she loves it. There is nothing in the world she adores more than her big brother, her “Bee-dah.” But today, it was just the two of us, hanging out in Normal-town and site-seeing together. Because growing up with her unique brother means that she's just a stranger in this un-strange land too.
We haven't emigrated. At 2:30 this afternoon Willow and I will pick Billy and head to his group therapy. She will squeal with delight at the sight of him. And he will watch the videos from her Fall Festival party, with equal delight, over and over and over again.
For a couple of hours this Halloween, ever so briefly, I dressed up in the guise of Normal Parent. It was fun to wear a costume for a little while. But I know that it's not me.
:)
Saw you and Willow on my way upstairs to bible study...what fun! =) Glad you got to have a normal moment...very sweet...
What a sweet little pochahontas costume! She looks like she's having a blast =)
Dual Citizenship? Or The Man Without a Country?
As the father of two boys, a 13 yo with autism and an NT 11 yo, I've felt this way, but you did so much better than I did at putting it into words.
Oh, and we homeschool. And my wife works, while I stay home and teach. Sometimes I lean more toward Man Without a Country.
I love reading your posts because so many of them are things that I'd love to say or stories I'd love to tell, but don't know quite how to get them out. I had a coffee date on Tuesday with an old friend while C was in school. It took me ten minutes to realize that if I let go of G's hand, she wasn't going to escape or run away. I watched in slight amazement while she contentedly walked with us, never straying more than arm's reach. I was almost giddy with excitement and then the guilt came. Glad to know I'm not unusual. =) Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!!
Another Beautiful Post
I don't have a second child, so I can't really relate to this feeling. But what a great post!
Another World
I can relate. It's like two different worlds. My (NT) daughter is three years younger than Griffin. In many ways, raising her is like raising our first kid. The experience is so different that, whenever she hit a developmental milestons, we would find ourselves saying stuff like, "Oh... So that's how that was supposed to go."
Enjoy that moment!
Amanda, I truly know the feelings you share in your post (and you shared them wonderfully by the way!) The preoccupation that surrounds our every moment with our SN kiddos can totally overshadow any experience....not to mention those that "should" be memorable or joyful. To say that I am not resentful once in a while would be completely untrue. Our NSN children need us too....and they need us when we are NOT preoccupied (kids are so good at intuiting the tension I'm sure!)
When the ABA folks are here and my daughter comes home from school, we have about an hour and a half that is mommy/Jade time... and we try to guard it like gold! It's good for my soul, and it is good for her's. We get creative and silly, and I find that I really ENJOY the fact that she WANTS to learn....she CAN learn and IS developing like a normal kid, for which I am so, so grateful. That gives me strength.
Beautiful
Amanda, you write so beautifully and so honestly, I feel so humbled and blessed when I read your blog posts. You make my heart ache and soar at the same time. And you make me laugh. What a gift you have and what a blessing you are.
Sunshine xx
Party
A friend of mine had a similar experience this week, Amanda. She had some of the same reactions you had, so I've forwarded your post to her. Thanks for the honesty and, as always, the beautifully written prose.
P.S. - Love the new site design! Happy weekend!
What Sunshine Said...
This was beautiful, like Sunshine said...I'm thankful you have the opportunity to experience "both sides" of parenting!
Wendy
Um...Mom?
Um...Mom? It's okay. No guilt required. You did nothing other than enjoy a beautiful child as you should be able to do, because you have a beautiful child who is behaving the only way she knows how. She was herself. That meant that you could be yourself. I get that you may not have recognized it right away. Sometimes, when you step down from the tightrope of special needs parenting, you don't recognize the feel of solid ground. And sometimes it feels more comfortable on the tightrope. I hope you get many many more moments like the one you described, sans guilt, for both your's and Willow's sake.
Is NO one going to mention the awesome Yo Gabba Gabba kid? Lynn?! Big Daddy?! Where are you??
Thank you all so much for the love. Reading back over this post -- particularly in light of Billy's EXCELLENT school party yesterday -- I realize that it sounds a bit like somebody creating a problem where no problem exists.
Well, that's me sometimes. I'm so used to putting out fires that when nothing is smoking, I'm totally capable of striking a few matches, just to make sure they're working, and in so doing, setting everything around me aflame.
I think I just got lost in my own metaphor.
Anyway, thank you all. I truly don't know what I'd do without you :-)
OK, I turn my back for a minute.....
....and you totally change your site (thought I was in the wrong place for a minute) AND no one makes a DJ Lance joke. Or makes fun of the Jesus song. People people people. Do I have to do EVERYTHING around here????
Love the new look!!!
FINALLY ...
...someone made fun of the song to which my daughter is bustin' out her Step Up 2 The Streets dance moves for. She seems oblivious to the fact that "backin' her booty up" in a song about "Jesus in the Morning, Jesus in the Noontime" is probably not appropriate. At one point, she kinda started doing karate, so I'm not sure what's going through her head.
And DJ Lance is totally awesome.
This was a beautiful post. I don't have a special needs child, so this was a rare glimpse into something I know nothing about. I hope I say this right and I don't unintentionally offend anyone....
When I hear about parents with special needs children I wonder how I'm supposed to feel. Am I supposed to feel bad for the parent? For the child? Am I supposed to realize how incredibly lucky I am for having a "normal" child? If I feel lucky does that imply that a parent with special needs is not lucky?
I think this post helps clarify that "normal" is really just a relative term. And that we're all lucky, no matter what the circumstances because we have a child(ren) that we love regardless of anything.
jeanne @ inspiring ideas
What a sweet visit to "Normal Town." Although with kids, I'm not sure "normal" exists anywhere! :-)
I love the brother sister love relationship! What a lifelong bond that will be - invaluable.
How do you treat a person with a disability?
The above comment reminds me of a PSA from the '80s that said, "How do you treat a person with a disability? Like a person."
How do you treat the parent of a person with a disability? Like a parent, who's presumably doing the best he or she can. If they're obviously struggling, ask if there's some way you can assist. To those who say outsiders are not looking down on these parents, well, many aren't, but enough are to keep us on constant high alert whenever we take our children in public. If you doubt that, search "smockity frocks" AND "autism". She has since apologized, but there are millions more like her. We can never get away from them entirely. Imagine living in fear that someone would call the police and report you for child abuse every time your child ran a fever. Well, the neighbors have called the police on us because our son was having a meltdown, and meltdowns are far more common here than fevers.
How do you treat the parent of a child with a disability? Like a person.
Adorable! She has fantastic moves! Glad you got to have such a special day with your daughter. I'm sure you both needed it :)
this post touched me to the core. I love the way you captured the feelings of all special needs parents. No one is normal...most people's abnormalities are hidden and the Perfect Posse are just good at disguising their kinks.
I don't think any guilt is necessary - just enjoy the moment for what it is.
Life is filled with unique moments and special blessings - each of them different, but equally important.
Oversharer over here too!
Wow Amanda! I love your writing style. I also love the fact that you embrace the oversharer title as I do! Hello Soul Sister!!
Congrats on a successful Halloween weekend. My heart goes out to you as a mom who shares custody with my former spouse. I am familiar with the feeling of being in one place but feeling a bit of guilt for not being in another.
Keep the stories coming!
Total 21 comments
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Here's a caption challenge for you: Write something to reflect what was happening 1 minute before each pumpkin patch photo was taken. I'll get us started ... "Why's Mama crying?" "I thought pumpkins could bounce ... off cars." "I'm hiding from that kid I pushed." |
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WILLOW'S FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL |
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What Cuties!
You have such cute children!
'Why can't I sink my teeth into this pumpkin?!?!' We love the Broadfeet! I showed these pics to Rae & she said, 'It's Biiddeee!' 'It's Woe-woe!'
Thank you!
I have to admit: They look pretty scrummy in these pics. The great things about digital photography: You can take enough pictures to piece together an idyllic afternoon, eliminating any evidence of pumpkins thrown into traffic ...
Love to Rae-Bug from her cuzzes! By the way, Willow now calls one kid in her class "Bee-dah" and one little girl "Rae-Bog," as though those are the only two categories into which children may fall :-)
I'm more interested in knowing how you got them to pose so cute like that. What did you bribe them with? lol
Photo #1...Billy - Funny Face, Photo #4...Willow - Off to School...
One minute before the first photo was taken, Billy has stacked three pumpkins on top of each other...he's waiting to see how long they take to topple over...
One minute before the fourth photo was taken, Willow has filled her school bag with coupons and fridge magnets to distribute to her friends at day care...
Wendy
Captions!
Wendy, you have made my day :-)
Total 6 comments
I was a shy, introverted pushover as a child – way too eager to please. So when I complain about my kids' screaming “No!” fits, I want you to understand that I encourage their strong wills. I want them to be spirited and opinionated and not easily led.
Who needs dental records? I have a perfect impression of his teeth scarred into my ankle.
Well, put a check-mark in that box.
Willow entered the “Terrible Twos” about eight months earlier, pouncing on the word “No!” with relish (which is not the most problematic word on which she's ever fixated) and repeating it at every given and inconvenient opportunity: diaper changing, meal time, bath time, getting-out-of-the-bath time. Not that unusual.
She's testing her boundaries, exerting power where she can, and trying to control her environment. I can deal. Even when she follows it up with her new weapon of choice: a flesh-searing bite from her 10 pearly whites.
But unfortunately, Billy – who is, in a few ways, about two years developmentally delayed – has also recently discovered the true power of the word “No.” He also likes to use it at potty time, meal time, bath time and getting-out-of-the-bath time.
When the two of them get started, dinner time becomes the Perfect Storm, like El Nino having a smack down with La Nina, and I'm caught in the middle trying to board up my windows and evacuate. Added to this is the fact that Billy's aural sensitivity is inflamed by Willow's screams, causing him to spiral further and further down the longer they're in the same room.
We're working with an ABA therapist to develop some strategies for dealing with Billy's tantrums. Some of it will improve as they both get older. (Please, God, let some of it improve as they get older.)
I've developed my own “Six Stages of Tantrumming” until the experts come up with something better:
Stage 1: Good Mama
At this stage, I'm still talking in a soothing voice, assuring everyone, “We're OK. It's OK. Everyone's OK. Aren't peas nice? No, well, that's OK...”
Stage 2: The Game Show Host
This stage might also be called Bargaining: "If you'll stop screaming and eat some peas, you could win this lovely prize package." And I display ice cream, the iPad and the LeapFrog machine for the contestants.
Stage 3: The Referee
Unable to keep the veiled threats out of my voice, I just try to keep Billy from randomly punching Willow and Willow from snapping at his fingers like a crazed turtle.
Stage 4: The Enforcer
Full threat mode. For some reason I start channeling a Cockney thug out of EastEnders or a Guy Ritchie movie: "Eat some bleedin' peas!" “If you don't stop throwing peas, you'll never eat again!” “Stop screaming or I'll burn all your toys!” I'm not proud of myself.
Stage 5: The Human Shield
At this stage, I'm just trying to protect the furniture.
Stage 6: Gollum
I retreat to my corner, whimper softly to myself, and pick peas out of my eyebrows.
Wow- you just described my stages of tantrumming too! Who knew? Thanks for the giggle, it's always nice to know you're not the only one going thru it!
Me TOO!
oh holy moly! I guess there really are stages! Because I totally go through these stages!!!! Isn't it terrible how the screaming is contagious!?!? Oh man Danny's screams totally set off Kekito. If one starts crying, that's it, we're toast!!!! Believe me I think I may have said something pretty similar to the burning toys threat! ;)
Oh No!
I pretty much just progress to the stage 6!
The tantrums did improve with my daughter both through age and through behavior therapies. They're not gone completely, but they're definitely better.
I have to say, that I was laughing while I was reading this, yet still cringed. A lot. A really great post!
This is so me! My poor Ashlyn cannot handle the little ones constant shrieking. Lately car rides get so noisy that we try to take two cars so that she can sit in the quiet one. Oh and I think I go from stage 1 to 6 very quickly!
No!
Your stages are better than any of the ones you would find in a textbook and I totally relate. I also thought of the song "No!" from They Might Be Giants as I was reading:)
Who Needs Steps 2 - 5?
I seem to always go straight to step six. Although I am mor like an Orc than like Gollum.
she learned from the best
i have no censorship button in my brain. I go from "wanna taste some peas?" to screaming and forcing just one pea down Little Bird's throat- just so I win. I feel like one day she's gonna pull that "just say no" ad on me with an "I learned it by watching YOU". You know, if she can string that many words together.
Too funny 'cause it's sooo true. We've spent a couple of weeks in our CARD class going over the different behaviors the kids show during a tantrum. I love the flipside of identifying a mom's different behaviors!! It really does feel like we're in the boxing ring. You can seriously almost hear the bell and "ROUND 2!"
And to think last night my status on FB read like this: Salespeople should take lessons from their kids. What does the word "no" mean to a child? Almost nothing. ~Jim Rohn
Well, you wrote a whole post on the real deal. what does Jim Rohn know about kids? Ha- very little methinks.
Oh yes, peas are lovely!
I don't want to laugh at this post, because I totally feel your pain. But you describe the six stages so perfectly. It's so easy to jump straight to Stage 4, isn't it? Once, I even pretended to cry, just to see if I could use guilt to calm things down, but no, the boys laughed in my face. Laughed! They knew they'd won!
(That Guy Ritchie comment? I die with laughter!)
Hang in there, friend. Just hang in there. Next time this happens, tweet me, and we'll have cyber drinks together. ;)
ABA consultants are rolling over in their graves
I need to forward this to my ABA consultant so that she can be properly horrified. Because of course none of those 6 are the appropriate response. I forget what the appropriate response is.
I can't believe it's not Halloween yet ...
So I'm not alone? That's a relief. I was starting to worry that my kids might be literally possessed.
@Maura: I'm so going to take you up on that tweeting for virtual cocktails offer. But we may both end up in virtual rehab if I tweet you every time this happens.
@Lynn: I'm hoping *my* new ABA consultant doesn't read my blog.
were you writing about your kitchen or mine?
OK, total belly laugh for me with this one! I wonder if you were a fly on the wall in my kitchen at one point!?
I can relate!
I got to the Gollum stage last night!
I love the image of your baby girl snapping at fingers like a crazed turtle. Totally had me laughing! Hey, all's fair in love and war right? Happy SITS day and I'll be sure to share your blog with others.
Unfortunately, I get to the Enforcer stage way too fast. I think I maybe only have three stages: calm and sweet, the bargainer and enforcer. sigh. ;) I've always been envious of those even tempered women that calmly repeats her requests like "put your shoes on" 20 times until the kid does it. Yes, I knew one of those.. my SIL, very unflappable. Happy SITS day!
"like El Nino having a smack down with La Nina"...best mommy blog line ever!
Lol...
I really don't know how to react to this.
Do I laugh?
*Perhaps I shouldn't admit it, but I was laughing hysterically the the whole way through.*
Do I cry? - Because I can only begin to imagine the hysteria and chaos...
Oh you poor thing... and yet, the stories that come from such occasions are fantastic for entertaining. ;)
I'm sure it will settle, at least somewhat, as they get older (at least as Willow becomes old enough to not unwittingly antagonize her brother).
I wish I could claim that I didn't spend most of my time as the enforcer.....sigh. Great post!
I've had to pick peas out of my eyes on several occasions! BTW, I'm stopping by from SITS. I got an error message earlier today when I commented on your main post so I hope it went through. I think I was trigger happy and hit submit too many times. :) ANyway, Congrats on your SITS day! Woo Hoo!
Total 20 comments
Bad weather brings out the best in me ...
Not very athletic
lol, Amanda, great to really SEE you! I was right there with you in the lunchroom playing checkers...
I wonder if I should do a vid clip to talk about what my blog is about or have a vlog page... what do you think? Has it worked for you? Email me when you get a sec. because I'd love to find out how you started that process :).
I Hope You Got your Coffee!
I think it's great that you are walking (I've started that recently as well) and eating healthier! It IS really important! I've found walking helps with the stress too! I think I'm better as handling my daughter when she's being difficult when I've taken care of myself!
Good to drink tea with you!
I loved drinking tea with you this morning! Tea is definitely an English thing - and quite Zimbabwean and South African too! But I love coffee too.
Good luck with your healthy living regime, you'll feel fantastic ... exercise definitely soothes and rejuvenates my soul. Can't describe how it does, but it does.
Sunshine
Hey, I like tea...
Just sitting here drinking my tea, watching your vlog. I'm a coffee hater. I'm so with you on the PE class...God, I hated PE. And I just had the same convo with my sister about physical fitness....it's no longer a vanity thing but a longevity thing. Like you, I hope I'm around for a looooooooooooooong time.
Don't go there! It's too scary!
I also think a lot about what my autistic kids will be like when they're autistic adults. The fear of old age and death takes on a whole new meaning when there is the very real possibility that our children may still rely on us when they're middle-aged.
How are you doing with the exercise? I love that you are looking at the long-term and not just focused on getting back into a pair of jeans! You know what I found when I got back into a pair of old jeans....they didn't even look good anymore...so out of style! I mean, if you're into the whole wearing your pants above your belly button thing then they're great! LOL
Total 6 comments
After watching this week's episode of CSI, I'm pretty much convinced that I'm at least a “Level 2” hoarder.
"We found her! The body was buried under a pile of kids' art and old phone chargers."
I could kind of relate to the woman who sealed all her memories into labeled plastic bins, stacked them up and then couldn't get out the front door of her house. Except the part where she had a dead body in the house she didn't notice. Then again, I haven't gone through the guest room in a while ... the only way a guest is staying in there is if it's that lady from Clean House who sells all your crap in a yard sale while you're on vacation.
I have great admiration for those people whose homes are immaculate and free of clutter. Where do you put the unfiled receipts? The wonky crayon drawings of pumpkins? The seven different bottles of almost-used-up bug spray? The wires, chargers and cables that seem to spontaneously reproduce around each of our computers and TVs?
I learned my minor hoarding from my mom, who instilled in me an absolute loathing of waste. I can't stand to see things wasted. Not that I don't waste stuff. I just feel this tiny sense of shame about it whenever I throw something away rather than repair it. Of course, my mom has a great way of handling clutter: She brings it to my house.
I don't hoard everything. There are a some things, though, that I find it almost physically impossible to throw away:
Re-usable bags
I have a stunning collection of these from canvas “green” grocery bags to those clear zip-up plastic bags in which comforters and sheets are packaged. Sign up for a Books-A-Million discount card? They give you a bag. Enroll in Kindermusik again? They give you another bag. The only cure for this addiction we've found is moving. I refuse to move my collection to a new house, but in the past year we've lived here, I've collected about 100 of them.
Plastic containers
(Related to the reuseable bag fetish) I'm a little better about this than I used to be. I no longer collect Chinese take-out containers, which was something of a break-through.
Coupons
In my mind's eye, I'm this amazing money-saving machine like the ones you see on Good Morning America who manage to get a year's groceries for seven dollars. In reality, I have a pile of out-of-date scraps of paper that represent way more time than I could ever earn back in savings.
At some point earlier this year, I was convinced that I desperately had to try the Lettuce Cups at some restaurant in another town and this $1 off coupon was gonna come in handy if we ever went there. I know this because the coupon lived on my refrigerator (see fridge magnets below) for more than six months.
I'm thinking that if the one on the right is raisins, then the one on the left is a picture of Billy eating raisins at Zoinks. (You thought I was kidding about the stump-grinding, didn't you?)
Fridge magnets
I don't have one of those interesting, purposeful collections. No, I have a variety of magnetized business cards from air conditioning repairmen, stump grinders and tree removal services that probably don't even exist any more. Because who needs a file cabinet when you can stick everything from old receipts to coupons to artwork (see Artwork below) to the fridge for everyone to see?
Electrical wires
There really isn't any use for all these old phone chargers I've collected, is there? I should point out that I do not currently own a working cell phone.
Artwork
At some point, apparently, I'm planning to launch the world's largest and most pointless show of children's art. It will begin with the fingerpaint handprints I made with Billy when he was barely upright through Willow's crayon drawing of an “apple.” I have a couple pairs of “rainbow viewing binoculars” made of toilet paper rolls for the “sculpture” exhibit. I imagine the abstract "I Like Raisins" (black dots on white paper) will fetch a hefty sum. Let's get those phone bids going.
Toys
I think I must have been traumatized as a child by that cartoon where Rudolph visits the Island of Misfit toys. That and Toy Story has instilled in me an emotional connection to toys that is unreasonable in an adult. I just can't throw them away, even if they're broken. Even if they're so stupid or inexplicable that my children never play with them. There are toys I hang on to in the hopes that I will, at some point, find the rest of it: the missing puzzle piece, the ball that drops down the little chute, the arm to Batman. Poor little misfits. It's not your fault.
Books
I never re-read a book. NEVER. Whenever I read a really good book, I immediately find someone to give it to. And the bad ones? I keep, for some reason. The collecting of terrible fiction seems to be a bit of a compulsion of mine. I have to line up ever bad novel I've ever read on the shelf rather than take it to Goodwill and give it the opportunity to bore somebody else.
Clothes
I once told an old boyfriend, "I can't throw this away. I've had it since I was in high school." After a long moment, my much more fashion-conscious boyfriend responded, "You do realize, don't you, that that is NOT a reason to wear something?" No. I don't.
I realize intellectually that I'm equating things with memories. I realize intellectually that throwing away, donating or re-gifting a thing doesn't eliminate all its related memories from my mind. I realize intellectually that I will never find a use for all these plastic bags.
But my heart still feels a tug every time I load up a box of old stuffed animals for Goodwill or even throw away the hand-written receipt (stuck to the fridge for several months) from the first day we signed Billy up for gymnastics.
I've made a commitment, though. I'm cleaning out that guest room, so that we can actually have some guests and make new memories. Get ready mom: I've got a couple dozen boxes of "old memories" coming to your house.
Posting problems?
Hey guys ...
Is anyone else still having problems posting here? We knew there were problems for a couple of days while we upgraded security to try and get rid of porn spammers, but we were under the impression that everything had been smoothed out. If you do still have problems, if you could email me directly at AmandaBroadfoot@gmail.com and let me know what happened, I would REALLY appreciate it. I'm going to be featured blogger at SITS on Nov. 2 and I want to make sure all the problems are sorted out before then.
Thanks in advance ...
Amanda
Hoarders
Boxes. Boxes. I can't seem to throw away boxes. Not sure what it means.
YOU'RE HAVING YOUR SITS DAY!!!!
How cool!!! Finally someone I know and don't have to pretend to like!! That is so awesome...I'm marking my calendar.
As for the hoarding, I am your polar opposite. Love to throw things away. I hate stuff. I wonder what that says about me vs. you...? I collect plastic bags but only so that I can take them in one go to the recycle bin. I have a purposeful refrigerator magnet collection. But that's about as close as I come to relating to this. OK, I'm going to check out your security thingy now....
everything checks out here comrade
...all is well with posting comments.
Paperback Swap
I'm a recovering pack rat. I determined about a year back that I would have nothing in my home that I didn't consider to be beautiful or useful. I'm not a 100% success - but I'm a lot better. One helpful question: "Have I used this / worn it within the past year? No? Donate / Toss." It's hard to toss things especially - but there are times when it's gotta be done.
For the books - I love Paperback Swap. (Use the link I provided so I get credit for the referral!) It's a credit-based system -- list your bad fictions, some poor sap requests them, and when they confirm it's been received, you get a credit to pick out a book you want. They've got all genres, including kids' books.
Congrats!
Congrats on your SITS Day! How cool that you know this far in advance. Just out of nosiness, when did you submit your blog to them? I just did research to see when I did, and I was surprised to find out it wasn't until the end of April!
I HAVE had problems posting here! It won't let me like to my XXXXXXXX website. HAHA.
Seriously, I have had problems about 3 times this past week. I think one time I didn't even post anything.
My husband is a hoarder. I think he has a serious problem. However, one of his very expensive stereo speakers broke last night. He was able to find his invoice and his warranty info for it--even though he bought it almost 10 years ago. As it turns out, the warranty is going to expire in about a month. That never happens--it usually expires a month ago! Anyway, because of his pack-rat ways, we're actually going to save serious money on this repair. Hoarding is not always bad!
My Halloween House of Hoarders
@BigDaddy: I forgot to add boxes to the list. I get it, my friend, I really do. How could a box NOT be useful at some unknown date in the future?
@Lynn: You're the best! Thanks :-) Maybe if we keep interacting, some of your non-hoardiness (that word sounds dirty, doesn't it?) will rub off on me.
@Mary: What a great idea with the Paperback Swap! I'll definitely let them know that you sent me ... Thanks!
@Cheryl: I didn't submit my name until mid-summer, but when I accepted the gig moderating the Spring Chicken forum, they offered to bump us "Tribe Leaders" up in the line-up. That's one thing I really like about SITS: They offer lots of opportunities to contribute and they try to come up with creative ideas for rewarding people. I didn't do the tribe thing for the SITS Day bump; I really wanted to find my special needs moms "tribe," but the SITS Day is an AWESOME reward :-)
Island of Misfit Toys
Oh, I'm with you on The Island of Misfit Toys! That cartoon made me weep as a child. Meanwhile, my kids can't get enough of it.
I hate to say it, Amanda, but you and your reusable bags sound downright organized. And? Glad to hear your refrigerator looks exactly like ours. At least we're not alone.
I Have Everything You Have!
Hi Amanda:
I think you might be a younger version of me! I have everything you have...when Jim and I moved in together two years ago, we filled TWO 26-foot U-Hauls with just boxes of stuff (furniture went in a separate truck)...it's a good thing we have a big house! He has at least three boxes of assorted cables for computers, phones, etc.! I have boxes of the kids' artwork, and stuff my mom saved from my own childhood. I have every ticket/programme from every show I've ever been to. I realized on Monday that the sweatshirt I threw on for going out to the garden was 16 years old! I don't keep bad books, only good ones. However, my cookbook collection alone filled several boxes!
Wendy
too funny
Too funny! I'm on a decluttering mission this year and have realised there are only 2 months left and I'm nowhere near my goal. Sigh.
One thing for the art work was to create a website where it is all stored. Thing is I have boxes of hard copies in the attic, so that didn't exactly work ...
Total 10 comments
Friday is fast becoming one of my favorite days. And not just because Willow goes to preschool.
No, I love Fridays, because that's when I get to introduce you to some of my favorite people. Today I'm absolutely delighted to share one of my best blogging buds, Ginny Marie from Lemon Drop Pie, with you. She's also in our SITS Girls tribe of Spring Chickens. And she's a breast cancer survivor.
She's so kind and modest that Ginny Marie probably wouldn't be comfortable with being called inspiring, but G, you are. I know there are people out there facing devastating news about cancer right now -- either for themselves or someone they love -- and Ginny Marie and her beautiful family are living, breathing proof that life can still get better and better, despite how hard things may be right now.
And I love her description of her blog title, because life is a little bit sweet and a little bit sour for all of us. That's what makes it so delicious.
Take it away, Ginny!
------------------------------------------
Last week, Amanda wrote a beautiful piece for my blog titled "Filling in the blanks." I had asked her to write about the challenges she faces and why she blogs about them, and I couldn't have asked for a better guest post. This week, I'm writing a guest post for Amanda, and I hope I do half as well as she did.
For the most part, my challenges are over. I was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was 27. That was over 14 years ago. I'm in remission; I'm not going through any treatments like chemotherapy or radiation. I'm no longer taking any medications. My hair has grown back, my body has healed. Sure, I have scars, but I am used to way my body looks.
In the fourteen years since I had cancer, I met my husband who did more than accept me for who I am. He loves and cherishes me more than I thought was possible.
My fears of being infertile due to the chemotherapy and Tamoxifen were groundless; I had two quite normal pregnancies, gave birth to two very healthy and happy daughters, and successfully breastfed both of them with one breast.
My challenges are over. Everything in life is good; I have more than I ever dreamed I would have after that terrifying diagnosis of breast cancer.
However, I am haunted. October haunts me, not with Halloween ghosts and goblins, but with ribbons. It's the pink ribbons that haunt me.
Every pink ribbon reminds me: breast cancer is personal. I had it, and it can come back. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer when she was 40, and it came back. We thought it had gone away forever. When I was pregnant with my oldest daughter, we found out we were wrong. The cancer had metastasized to her bones. We lost her last November, 26 years after her first diagnosis.
I tend to say, “When the cancer comes back.” My husband correct me as quickly as he can...not when, IF. But I can't stop thinking of those teeny, tiny cancerous cells that may lurk inside my body, looking for a home in my bones, my lungs, my liver or my brain. What if?
And so I write. I write about breast cancer to reach out to you. To encourage you to do a breast self-exam. To visit your doctor if you feel anything unusual. To help find the cause of breast cancer by joining www.armyofwomen.org.
I write so that someday, those pink ribbons will become unnecessary. I write because we're all tired of being haunted by those pink ribbons every October.
Ginny Marie blogs about surviving breast cancer and being a mom at Lemon Drop Pie.
Hope and Encouragement
Thank you both for sharing your post. You give hope and encouragement to all women who have had had or who are currently dealing with this terrible disease. I am so sorry for your loss. I also lost my mom to breast cancer in November 1993 and yes with metastasis as well. However, I encourage all women to have their yearly mammograms and do their monthly self breast exams. My mom's life may have been spared if she had done any of those. You can read about my mom on my post: <a href="http://iamallatwitteraboutlife.blogspot.com/2010/09/back2blogging-event-day-4.html">My Mom</a>
~Lisa
Thanks for this post Ginny! You are an inspiration!
Great guest post! Our experiences shape us even if the immediate challenge is over. My aunt's cancer, 15 or so years in remission, has returned. But another friend has been cancer free for over 20 years. I guess we have to live like the worst won't happen, and then deal with it if it does.
What an inspiration you are. Think positive thoughts always...
Lucy
http://postpartumillness.com/
IF
What an important post.
I hope someday you are right, Ginny... that those little pink ribbons will be obsolete.
That there will be no "when" and no "if".
Thanks!
Thank you for your kind introduction, Amanda!
Lisa...I'm so sorry you lost your mom to breast cancer.
Lynn - Thanks for being a faithful reader! ;)
Jen, I hope your aunt's cancer goes into remission again...
Lucy, I need that reminder to think positively!
Jenni, we can always hope!
I'm gonna try this one more time!
I posted this brilliant comment, but it didn't post (I have this prob on this site from time to time).
I'm gonna try one more time...
Ginny, that was such a beautiful post! Thank you for sharing your story with us. It's so inspirational and informative. I honestly didn't think having children was possible after treatments like that!
I hope the IF never happens!
Thanks again for sharing your story!
Total 7 comments
OMG--So Funny AND on the Money!
Monday November 01 2010 03:01:44 pm
Cheryl D.
Amanda, you hit this out of the ballpark!
EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT!
Thank you!
Monday November 01 2010 05:20:38 pm
Amanda Broadfoot
I think we're totally on the same page on this issue :-)
Agree
Monday November 01 2010 05:45:02 pm
Big Daddy
Yeah. This silence thing seems misguided. Besides, my son is about as far from silent as a human being can be.
Amen!
Monday November 01 2010 11:31:33 pm
Ashley
Amen, amen and amen. I had a very snarky SLP evaluate Caleb and basically tell me I was an overreactive mother because she saw him sitting in my lap and he was talking. Affectionate and verbal automatically eliminated ASD in her misinformed opinion. Oh and I especially laughed about the Charlie Brown movie! We have a fan in our house, too. Caleb's latest line from a movie has been stuck in his head for two days and at about 4:30 this morning, we could hear him in his bed: "Please, brother! I'm not a child." (maniacal laughter) "Please, brother! I'm not a child." (maniacal laughter) Argh, I really needed my coffee today.
Tuesday November 02 2010 01:34:24 am
Ashlee
HAPPY SITS Day!
I absolutely love your blog. I have read your stuff for a long time. I have such a special place in my heart for children with Autism.
I hope you have a great SITSday :)
I'm Going to Comment Again when your SITS Post Is Up But...
Tuesday November 02 2010 01:37:55 am
Cheryl D.
CONGRATS! Have a super-awesome day! Enjoy all the glory that's going to come your way. You SO deserve it!
Happy SITS day!
Tuesday November 02 2010 01:54:07 am
Ashley
Happy SITS day, You so deserve it! You are a special woman with an incredible blog and story!
-ashley-
Tuesday November 02 2010 02:23:27 am
Niki
Congratulations on your SITS day!
I'm glad you said the silence campaign was dumb
Tuesday November 02 2010 02:29:09 am
Sara from Saving For Someday
Fabulous! I'm stopping by from SITS to wish you a joyous week and congratulate you for using your voice. My nephew is Autistic (Aspergers) and if he would stop talking for about 10 minutes a day my sister wouldn't know what to do with herself, that is after she checked on him to make sure he wasn't dead. It's hard to educate people when you don't use words, so I'm not sure what the whole campaign was about.
Your site is beautiful and I will definitely share it with my sister as well as others I know who are looking for good information and a place that isn't all dreary and scary.
Thank you for doing this. You truly are making a difference for so many.
Again, Happy SITS day!!!
Tuesday November 02 2010 02:31:15 am
misssrobin
Congratulations on your special day. I hope it brings you lots of new followers and tons of comment love.
Great vlog. I think you are totally correct. I have been silent and patient waiting for good things to happen too many times in my life. Yeah, that gets you nothing. Squeak away, baby.
Happy SITS day!
Tuesday November 02 2010 04:04:28 am
Heather - Acting balanced mom
I completely missed communication shutdown day and all the hype, I'm sad to say... although despite everything, I made sure that I posted on my blog... but coming home from the hospital with the latest edition to the fam made me post less than I had planned... I have to say that I totally agree with you though - even when my son was almost completely non-verbal he found creative ways to communicate his needs and wants - and effectively too... when he wants to be clear, he still drags the gallon milk jug and a cup out of the kitchen and into whatever room I'm in if I haven't responded in enough time to his request for moo...
Glad SITS introduced me to your blog, looking forward to getting to know more about you and your family!
Tuesday November 02 2010 05:18:08 am
Renee Ann
I'm visiting from SITS. Congrats on your special day!
I teach an autistic teen (age 17) in his home 3 days a week. (I'm not a specialist, just a teacher.) He is talkative and peppers me with questions during each lesson. He has a great sense of humor and is a talented artist.
I usually work with him in the language area--writing, reading comprehension, literature, foreign language. Through our study of literature, he's gained an appreciation for relationships and how people interact. So even though he's focused on Thomas the Train, he now writes elaborate stories about Thomas and Rosie and their budding relationship! When he reads his stories to me, he changes his voice to play all the parts. (He blushes when Thomas tells Rosie, "I love you.")
And this from a boy who used to sit growling under a desk in kindergarten. He's a truly amazing individual! I'm blessed to know him!
Great mom
Tuesday November 02 2010 06:01:39 am
Katerina
You are a great mom for your kids. I am sure your son is as lucky having you as a mom as you having him as your son.
I Have Spent Over $5000....
Tuesday November 02 2010 08:48:56 am
JDinTLH
out of pocket in the last 18 months on speech/language therapy and I am not about to ask E. to be quiet now. Can you imagine?? What silliness is this???
Where would we be right now as a civilization without Thomas Paine, Frederick Douglass, Susan B. Anthony, Jeanette Rankin, Bella Abzug, Martin Luther King, Jr., Mohandas Ghandi, Harvey Milk, Harvey Fierstein, people with big ideas, big dreams and GIANT voices?
I am happy to have an opportunity each and every day to say that "this" (our family) is the face of ASD. To do so otherwise is to allow others to define who we are and what we need from our communities and elected representatives. Now, go vote!!
Great Autism Shout Out
Tuesday November 02 2010 10:07:03 am
Karen
Loved your vlog, Amanda! I didn't participate in the Communication Shutdown (aka Global Pout) either! I participated in the Autism Shout Out for ASDay on Twitter all day and connected with some fabulous people speaking for themselves with autism, as well as many rockin' Mamas who squeak loudly for their kidlets! Wasn't it just dripping with irony that it was the day before the election? I know it originated in Australia where the 2nd wouldn't be their election day, but the irony was just too much to bare. And I almost spit my java at the monitor when I saw your Angle autism air quotes! Great vlog and great to see you! :>
Twitter Follow
Tuesday November 02 2010 10:09:44 am
Karen
Oh my. I just realized that I'm not following you on Twitter already, so I'm off to follow you there too! :>
Tuesday November 02 2010 11:48:14 pm
Traci
Congrats on your SITS day! I look forward to reading some of your post because even though I have a neurotypical child, I am fairly sure I can relate to your mommy tantrums and your other mothering trials & tribulations. Again, congrats! :)
Thursday November 04 2010 02:12:03 pm
Meghan
You are too much. Hilarious and such a good point. I love it when people think for themselves!
Can you tell I'm just now catching up with all your posts?!
Total 18 comments