LIFE IS A SPECTRUM

I recently read a baffling post on an autism support group message board. In this post, a woman had provided a link to a story claiming that abortion cells in vaccines had been proven to cause autism. This article -- and I'm not going to post the link, because I don't want this non-science to do any further damage -- claimed that the EPA (Environment Protection Agency) had released a report stating this.

Before I go any further, let me just state right upfront that I'm not debating abortion here. I, like just about everyone else, have strong opinions about the subject, and I'd be happy to discuss those one-on-one with you any time. But in this forum I'm talking about autism. And occasionally about stupid TV shows I've watched.

So anyway, back to this baffling post. I was immediately suspicious, because this supposed EPA report hadn't been mentioned anywhere else. I know I'm kind of out of the loop, but that very morning, CNN had led with another story about a deer getting trapped in a Dunkin Donuts, so it didn't seem like they were aware of this report either.

I Googled every possible search term related to this, and the only places I found this link mentioned were on anti-abortion websites. You'd think it would have come up on some autism sites as well. But no.

I finally found a link to the EPA report in question, but when I tried to read it, my brain froze and I could imagine my head generating one of those little hourglass icons like my laptop does when it gets overwhelmed. Despite the fact that I am a big nerd and went to Science and Math Camp in the 11th grade, as I approach the age of 40, I find myself definitely NOT Smarter Than a 5th Grader, particularly when it comes to science.

But luckily, I know people who are. I emailed one of my favorite bloggers at Science-Based Parenting, and asked him to interpret for me. He went one step better: He emailed the guy who did the research and wrote the report, and asked him, "Hey, did you say that autism was linked to abortion cells being used in vaccines?" And the guy emailed back a lot of stuff but basically said, "Umm, no. I did not."

There are also no aborted fetal cells in vaccines. According to the Center for Disease Control, "The rubella vaccine virus is cultured in human cell-line cultures, and some of these cell lines originated from aborted fetal tissue, obtained from legal abortions in the 1960's. No new fetal tissue is needed to produce cell lines to make these vaccines, now or in the future. Fetal tissue is not used to produce vaccines; cell lines generated from a single fetal tissue source are used; vaccine manufacturers obtain human cell lines from FDA-certified cell banks. After processing, very little, if any, of that tissue remains in the vaccine."

Essentially, back in the 1960s, fetal cells from two abortions were used to grow vaccines. Whether or not you think that should have happened, rest assured that no further abortions have occurred in service of the vaccine industry. Even the Pope has said that getting vaccinated does not in any way mean that you support abortions.

Some of the sites that are claiming a link between vaccination and those original abortion cells cite the growing number of autism diagnoses that have happened since the 1960s as their proof that that's the cause.

Well, based on that logic, I could say that there's been a spike in autism diagnoses since the premier of the Law and Order, and I'm holding series creator Dick Wolf personally responsible and leading a boycott against procedural cop shows in general, just to be sure that CSI isn't part of the problem as well.

That's a ridiculous analogy, I know. But at least if that were my crazy theory, the worst that would happen is that there would be a slight dip in the Neilsen ratings amongst those dumb enough to buy this nutty rant.

But there are much greater dangers in following a half-baked scientific theory that leads you to not vaccinate your children. Not only to expose your child and others to potentially life-threatening diseases but as has been discussed here before, following this non-existent vaccination link any further wastes time, money and energy that much much much smarter brains than myself can be putting towards real research with the potential to reveal the real root cause of autism.

Cause and effect is an exhausting search for the parents of autistic children. We are always watching, searching for signs that anything -- a particular food, a drug, a color, an environmental factor, a sound, a vitamin or a new therapy -- will have any effect, good or bad, on our child's development. We rely on experts to tell us the truth, because we don't have the time or the energy to become experts on everything ourselves, and there are so many supposed experts lying to us for their own financial or political gain. There are also a lot of good people working tirelessly on real science and not grabbing headlines like certain celebrities that will not be mentioned again here.

Like I said, this is not a debate about abortion. If that's your fight, no matter which side of the debate you're on, leave autism out of it. Don't let pseudoscientists hijack your moral argument. It will backfire. Because when the facts come out, people will doubt your judgment if you've been, however innocently, lying to them.

Now because I feel like I've been on a soap box too long, and standing up here kinda makes me dizzy, I'm gonna tell you a Billy story that has absolutely nothing to do with any of this.

Billy has discovered the joy of blowing on Willow's tummy and making her laugh. It totally cracks him up. He's still laughing long after Willow has stopped. So the other day after blowing on Willow's tum for about half an hour, he finally said, "Blow on Mama's tummy!"

I was lying on the couch at the time and lifted up my shirt to expose my abdomen. He blew on my stomach for about 5 seconds, then stood up, pulled my shirt back down and shook his head. "This tummy," he announced, "is too big."

Out of the mouths of babes. Off exercise now in the hopes of shrinking my "too big" tummy into shape to meet my 3-year-old's tummy-blowing requirements.

I don't know whether its true or not. Nor do I particularly care. I just wanted to say there was an article which mentioned it in one of our national dailies here in Canadas today.

http://fullcomment.nationalpost.com/2012/01/11/lorne-gunter-pro-choicers-are-against-any-choice-but-abortion/

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  • When meeting a mother and child in the grocery store line, rather than commenting, "Cute baby!" you remark on the child's good "pincer grasp" and "excellent bilateral coordination."
  • Once you get home from the grocery store, you realize that while you now have a cabinet full of mac-n-cheese, Rice Krispie treats and a freezer full of chicken nuggets and fish sticks, you have bought no food for yourself or your husband. And rather than go back to the store, you decide to just eat chicken nuggets this week.
  • Your idea of "Girl's Night Out" is that trip to the grocery store -- by yourself.
  • You have ever warned the exterminator: "Wake the baby up and you are dead to me."
  • With one glance at the screen, you know exactly how many minutes into the movie "Cars" you are and exactly how many minutes until the next commercial break, when you'll be required to find the remote and fast-forward.
  • You finally found your car keys in the dairy compartment of the fridge.
  • You refer to yourself in the third person -- "Mama is going to have the salad bar because salad is healthy" -- when talking to other adults, like waiters and cashiers.
  • In all recent family photos, you realize you have "crazy eyes."
  • When your starving cat meows, you scream, "Feed yourself, you lazy mooch!"
  • Every night, you fall asleep re-reading the same page of the same highly acclaimed literary masterpiece that's been on your bedside table for six months, but you have every word of "Bob the Builder's Easter Adventure" memorized.
  • You make up songs about everything you do -- (to the tune of "Old McDonald": "Mama's getting dressed right now ...") and there's no one in the room to hear them.
  • You count up your list of "10 Signs" and realize there are actually 12.

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Long ago, in a galaxy far, far away, I had a career. I know that to be totally PC, I should add the phrase “outside the home” but I don't look at my family as an alternative career choice. My kids are a higher calling.

teach-typing-kids-200X200

But I used to work full-time, all day, every day, outside the home. I was a magazine editor for years and a journalist and a screenwriter. I once interviewed Rick Springfield -- admittedly, it was on the set of a truly poor Sci-Fi Channel film, but I was so excited I was shaking. (FYI, he's not all that keen on answering questions about "Jessie's Girl" or "General Hospital.") I once did the can-can with Sulu and Chekov from the original Star Trek. I even interviewed the guy who wore the R2D2 suit in Star Wars.

I don't write this to name-drop – because come on, this would be the lamest attempt at name-dropping in the history of journalism. But I loved my job.

When we moved back to Florida, I was thrilled to get a job as editor of Emerald Coast Magazine and eventually, Bay Life. My job was to get to know people and go to events in Northwest Florida. I wrote about everything: real estate, jewelry, crime, health, entertainment – you name it.

If you had asked me back then – as baffling as this thought is to me now – I would probably have told you that I didn't care if I had kids or not. Motherhood wasn't something I thought about that much.

Billy changed everything. When he came along, I had had every intention of going back to work at the end of maternity leave. But then that three months whizzed by and I couldn't let go of him. I couldn't let go of his tiny feet or shake his firm little grasp. I couldn't imagine missing a single smile or not being there to pick him up when he cried.

At first, I tried working from home with him. People had told me, "It's easy at this age. They just sleep all the time." Maybe they were talking about cats, because neither of my children could ever have been described this way.

I freelanced for a while, but as Billy's developmental delays became more apparent and the demands of treating them increased, I let go of the final shreds of my career. A couple of little jobs came up here and there but it was hard for me to commit to even the simplest assignment, because I never knew when our life was going into a minor tailspin, and to be honest, I was super-stressed and finding it difficult to think about anything except Billy's autism.

I'm a control freak. I'm a planner. I like to organize things and make to-do lists and feel like I've accomplished something at the end of the day. I think that made me a good magazine editor. But parenting an autistic child is not something you can do from a Day Planner -- believe me, I tried.

That doesn't mean there wasn't plenty to fill up my Day Planner. Quite the contrary. We had doctor visits, tests, therapy appointments almost every day. From a practical standpoint, it just made sense for one of us to commit to chaffeur duty.

Slowly things started to change. Billy started preschool, Willow arrived and turned out to be world's easiest baby, and opportunities for me to write started to pop up.

This blog, started earlier this year, was my first attempt to dip my toe back into those waters. I was worried, at first, that I would have nothing to say. But when the floodgates opened, I found it difficult to shut up – which is probably one of the reasons I write some of the longest and most rambling blog posts on the Internet.

Then I got hired to be “Tallahassee Motherhood Examiner” for Examiner.com. That makes it sound like I go around examining people's motherhood credentials, but it actually just means that I write about parenting stuff at www.examiner.com/x-43368-Tallahassee-Motherhood-Examiner. I love doing that: I can now turn any afternoon with my kids into a tax write-off. Also, I get paid based on traffic, so if you check out my page, you're actually helping pay for Billy's expensive summer camp. Thanks! That kind of support entitles you to one macaroni craft or finger painting of your choice ... while supplies last.

My kids will never be impressed by my career. I can only imagine the baffling stares I'll get when I one day try to explain who Rick Springfield is. Or that there used to be a different Spock than the one played by the bad guy on “Heroes.” Maybe if had ever interviewed Lightning McQueen or Abby Cadabby it would be different.

But I make a mean batch of Rice Krispie treats, and if my life can serve as any kind of example to my children, I hope it shows them that sometimes the greatest miracles in your life are the biggest surprises; that you're capable of more than you think you are, so keep evolving; and the most exciting conversations you'll ever have will take place, not on movie sets, but in some of the quietest corners of your life with the people you love most.

nice

I easily get nice & updated information for research purposes... I'd definitely appreciate the work of the said blog owner...

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Billy started drawing this week. Not just scribbling. Not just stabbing the paper with a pen. Not peeling the paper from the crayons or breaking them or, worse yet, eating them (though we haven't seen that last one in a while, thankfully).

artautisticchild

No, he's been drawing. People. People with hair. People with beards. People with arms and legs. And always with smiles.

He and I have a deal. If he goes to the potty, he can watch "Baby Signing Time" while I load the dishwasher. But he has to draw while he watches the TV in his play room. The first time I explained this deal to him, I set up a piece of art paper on his easel (Ms. Stacee, his occupational therapist at school, explained to me that autistic children find it easier to draw on a vertical surface), turned on "Baby Signing Time," and handed him an orange crayon.

"Draw what you see on TV!" I said to him with a bright smile, trying to make it sound like the most fun activity ever.

He gave me a weird look, and I fully expected to come back into the room and find him peeling the crayon while staring transfixed at the TV. I had to get the kitchen cleaned up, though, because we had guests coming so I left him with it.

When I came back into the room, I was totally shocked that he had followed my instructions. To the letter. The entire surface of the TV screen was orange. And he had his eyeball half a millimeter from the screen, trying desperately to see his program through the crayon.

He had drawn what he saw on TV. On the TV.

And he looked up at me like, "Hey, don't look at me. This was YOUR big idea." I couldn't help but laugh.

Over the past few weeks, when he gets his TV time, he's humored me by making a few half-hearted squiggles on the paper. But the big breakthrough moment came when I wasn't looking.

I copied a move that I saw our private occupational therapist, Kathy Merydith, do during one of her sessions with him: I drew three circles on the paper and said, "Now, can you give the balloons faces?" Then I trotted off to the kitchen to get dinner started and left him to it.

Fifteen minutes later, I realized it was way too quiet in the play room. I ducked my head, expecting to catch him in the act of filling the puppets with Moon Sand or running over Willow's baby doll with his fire truck.

But no. He was still drawing. The three "balloons" now had happy faces, green beards and LEGS! With feet! The cutest little "Ls" emerged from the bottom of each head. And a crooked smile adorned each face, along with both eyes and a nose. I called Dave to tell him the news and he confessed that he was more happy and shocked at that moment than he had been when Willow took her first steps. Willow, who already says two dozen words and colors as well as Billy did just two months ago, will probably always have to work that much harder to amaze us. I know that's not great parenting, and the subject of another blog could probably be how to make the "normal" sibling of a special needs child feel "special" herself, so when I figure that out, maybe I'll write about it.

Anyway, over dinner, we all admired Billy's picture again and dubbed it "Three Happy Guys." Over breakfast the next morning, he reached for his sketch pad and furiously filled it with drawing after drawing, which we named "A Pear Takes a Walk," "Clown Face" and "Daddy Needs a Shave."

Of course, the first thing I did was go out and buy him every art supply known to man. I have sketch books of every size, crayons of every texture, shape, color, and surface, including the bath tub, and a variety of paints.

This morning, he sat down with his Pop-Tart and sketch book and began to draw carefully and slowly. First, there is a giant head. Often, this fills most of the available space. Then he made two dashes for the eyes and added a crooked smile and a round nose. "Where are his legs?" I asked. He thought for a second and then added the miniature "Ls" emerging from Mr. Big Head. Then he hesitated, put crayon back to paper and made straight lines emerge from both sides of the head. "Are those arms?" I asked.

"Arms!" he agreed. Then, "He's sleeping!"

You could have knocked me over with a feather. That was the first time he narrated or explained what he was drawing for me.

"Sleeping?" I just repeated.

"Needs a blankie!" he shouted back to me.

"Well, let's draw him a blankie!" I shouted back. Billy grabbed a yellow crayo and drew a roundish blob on the front of Mr. Big Head.

"Needs a pillow!" he shouted again. Intonation, as you might have guessed, could still use some work. While he's starting to communicate great, Billy tends to shout everything as though he's calling a Bingo game. But I was so excited I was shouting too.

We continued like this, with him adding a pillow, "covers," which is apparently different from "blankie," and "Brown Bear" to the bedroom scene. Then he abruptly decided that "Billy Goes to Sleep" was a completed masterpiece and asked very politely, "Can I be excused?" And he ran off to stage a race between Lightning McQueen and Batman until it was time to leave for school.

I just couldn't stop staring at the picture. After he left for school, I Googled "drawing" and "child development" and found this link:

http://www.learningdesign.com/Portfolio/DrawDev/kiddrawing.html

And this description seems to suggest that Billy is right on target, age-appropriate, with his drawing.

That chart also suggested that kids at this age start to work out problems with their drawings, and I wondered if there was anything going on at night that was bothering Billy. He has several “brown bears” that sleep with him and two pillows, and he has plenty of “covers,” so all I can figure is that maybe he wants a yellow blanket. Or to grow a beard.

I love Billy's drawings. And as I looked through the pages and pages that he has filled in his sketch book the last few days I was struck by how all the faces are smiling. I know that's not unusual in children's drawings, but I think it reflects something beautiful about a child's soul. As Picasso said, “Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up.” I hope Billy never loses that part of himself that sees smiling faces everywhere.

Child development

Fascinating chart about child development and art but I am a 30 year old mother and I couldn't not do what they show a 8 year old drawing!

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K6NAQ5

A shout-out to single parents: I don't know how you do it. I know this is Autism Awareness Month, but I've got a special message for the single moms and dads out there.

I'm a whiner, and I regularly use this blog to complain about every inconvenience in my life. But I also have somebody to complain to (oh, how he loves that), someone to point out the jelly in my hair, someone to gently lift my head up from the table and say, "Go take a hot bath. I got the kids for the next hour."

Single parents of special needs kids: Your capacity for strength, patience and persistence is so awesome it kind of ticks me off. You're making the rest of us look bad -- not that you have the time to notice. Not that the press holds you up as heroes. No, the single parents of special needs kids that the press covers 24/7 are ones like that insane lady who locked herself and her autistic son in a hotel suite, murdered him and tried (unsuccessfully) to kill herself.

Her story was and is a tragic one. But if you aren't aware of them, there are single parents handling their lives -- and their special needs kids -- with love and devotion every day. They never have enough time or energy or money to meet all the needs that are thrust upon them. They are tired and dedicated, happy some days and worried most of the time, inspiring to me and they don't even know it.

Case in point: Let's call her Sue. (Though that's not her name. I'm not going to write about people without their permission -- unless they are a crazy celebrity.) Sue has not one, not two, but THREE children on the autism spectrum. One son is more severely challenged than the others, 14 years old and still minimally verbal. She rarely gets a full night's sleep. She works full time and still volunteers to help other parents navigate the mire of government programs, special education services and medical tests that come with an autism diagnosis. And I know all this because she approached me in the lobby of a therapist's office with a bright smile and said, "You have a beautiful son. What's his name?"

Sue then told me about her children, describing the fascinating way one them put together block towers, the love her second child had for art, and the amazing capacity that her 14-year-old had for love. "He sees everyone the same," she said. "I've learned a lot from him."

And she said all this, not with the slightly manic, crazed tone of a woman over the brink. No, she was genuinely admiring of her special kids. I only got the details about the sleepless nights and challenges of their autism after we had shared stories for a good half-hour. Rather than a gripe session, she turned every story into great advice about navigating the school system.

I'd love to tell you that after my encounter with Sue, my whole outlook on autism changed and I now see it as a great learning experience and chance for me to grow spiritually. Nah, I'm not quite there yet. I still wish Billy didn't scream when he gets his hair washed or repeat "The Easter Beagle" non-stop throughout breakfast. But I cut him some slack about carrying a bar of soap around the house. I don't see the life lesson in that, but if it makes him happy and he's not hurting anybody, so be it.

But Sue opened my eyes to the fact that single parents have it a heck of a lot harder than I do. As author Robert Fulghum said, "If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire, then you got a problem. Everything else is inconvenience."

Even if you don't have Sue's enlightened outlook on life, I admire you, single parents. (In fact, truth be told, Sue would probably be a little hard to take over long periods of time, because I kinda start feeling like the world's worst mother around her.)

So do me a favor this week: hug a single parent. They probably need it.

Thanks! I needed this!

I really needed to read this. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with raising my two small children. Oftentimes, I take out my frustrations on my hubby who would most definitely do anything I asked him to do. I really needed to stop and count my blessings. Blessings of support!!! Support is so easily taken for granted! Thanks for posting this!
Anne
www.southernMOMentum.com

Loved This

I loved your perspective on single moms with special kids. I am one (single mom) and have two (very special kids). Most of us are crazy as a nuthatch, but I am blessed with extended family who take up the slack when my skills or my schedule are lacking. Though that does nothing to remedy my sanity. The boys are my 24-hr concern and if I had no faith I have no idea how I would cope. I done my share of poor coping and having righted that, the boys and I are on a new adventure through life every day. I agree with "sue" in that mine have taught me how to live. From my first, I've learned unending joy in ALL things and you wouldn't believe the things he's been through medically. From my littlest, I've learned absolute, unwavering, and desperate love--unbeatable and unbreakable. And I know that's not all...they just keep on comin'!

From Amanda Broadfoot

I'm so happy to hear that, Bramble! Keep on keeping on, because the world needs to see more strong, loving single parents like yourself -- do you think maybe we could get *you* interviewed on CNN and then they could stop giving us updates on that psycho mom who killed her autistic son. Sigh. Unfortunately, success stories don't play nearly as well in the media as the horror stories do.

But nonetheless, I'm sending you a virtual hug today and want you to know that I don't know how you do it. Please stay in touch, because I'd love to hear updates on how your special people are doing!

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Music truly is a universal language. Even pre-verbal and non-verbal people can be moved to communicate through melody, harmony and rhythm. There's something inside us that literally craves the sound of music.

Therapy based on music is growing in popularity in the autism community. Billy attends Kindermusik with the whole family, as well as a couple of normally developing friends. And we also take him to weekly music therapy sessions at TMH Rehab.

Music therapy can be done in a group setting or one-on-one. Billy's session is one-on-one with the therapist, though I usually attend with him -- and most of the time Willow is there as well, sitting in her stroller, sipping a bottle and occasionally demanding a "cook-cook" (cookie).

At TMH, music therapy is free to their existing clients (we also attend occupational and speech therapy there), because it is a teaching hospital and intern therapists regularly participate in -- and often lead -- the sessions.

We always start with a "hello" song. We take turns singing hello to each of us -- Billy, the teacher, Mama, Willow (who has started waving as soon as she hears that song) -- while the therapist plays the guitar. Sometimes, Billy strums the guitar while the therapist holds it and changes the chords.

Then he gets to choose between a couple of activities. In the beginning, we used a picture schedule, and his two choices would be represented by pictures. For instance, he might have a choice between a drum or puppets. If he chooses puppets, he picks that card and places it on the position for "activity we're doing now." After we're done, he takes the card and puts it in the "All done" pile. That way, he can visually understand that an activity has a beginning and end and that we complete one activity before starting the next.

If he chooses the drum, one of the activities we do is "Leader of the Band." We each hold a drum, and we all sing: "Billy is the leader of the band. Billy tells us when to start and stop." Then Billy has to shout, "Start!" before we can all start playing our drums. And we keep playing until he commands us to "Stop!" That activity helps reinforce the idea that communication helps him to get people to do what he wants. He got the hang of that one pretty quickly. I frequently hear "Stop!" at home. But he also started commanding me to "Tickle!" which was nice.

There are several different puppet-based activities. One of Billy's favorites he calls "Alligator Monkey." It sounds like an inexplicable Japanese cartoon, but it's actually a game in which the therapist holds an alligator puppet, while Billy and I hold five monkey "puppets" (which are really just felt monkey on a popsicle stick).

Then we sing:
"Five little monkeys swinging from a tree,
teasing Mr. Alligator:
'Can't catch me, no, you can't catch me.'
Along comes Mr. Alligator quiet as can be
and he SNAPS that monkey right out of the tree!"

At the SNAP point, the therapist grabs one of the monkeys in the alligator's mouth. At first, I was worried Billy would be frightened by the game. But recently, he's started feeding the monkeys to the alligator as soon as the song starts. He sometimes tries to give the alligator a couple of monkeys at once.

Another favorite game: Bean bags. We each receive a bean bag of a particular color and sing:
"Bean bag, bean bag, where ya been?
Way up high (we hold our bean bag up high)
and down again (we move the bean bag down low).
Bean bag, bean bag, don't get lost.
If you're bean bag is (insert color here), then give it a toss!"
And whomever has the bean bag of a particular color, throws it into an upturned drum.

Music therapy uses instruments like the xylophone and various drums and shakers. We also occasionally use streamers, balls and balloons, bubbles, books. The unifying element is that there is a song involved with every activity, and each game or song helps teach a concept. There's a song for taking turns, a song for greetings and goodbyes, a song for cleaning up, a song for following instructions, even a song for sitting down in your blue chair and not running around the room.

When we started music therapy six months ago, each transition to a new activity was a struggle. Even getting from the lobby to the therapy room inspired a meltdown for the first few weeks. He didn't want to give up one activity or instrument he liked in favor of a new one. But now he'll run right in there shouting the name of whatever instrument he wants to play. He understands that he has to sit down in order to play. And he understands the concept of taking turns. He still prefers "Billy's turn" but he grudgingly accepts that other people get a turn with the Lollipop Drum too.

I'm a huge believer in music therapy for my child. I've seen it work with my own eyes, because Billy loves music. I can ask Billy to do something, and he'll ignore me. But if I sing the command to him, he'll look up, and most likely, respond. Sometimes, as I'm making up a melody and belting out, "Please, please, BIL-ly, stop stick-ing your hands in the toil-LET!" I feel like I'm starring in my own very strange way-way-off-off-Broadway production, but I don't mind that. I like musicals.

Music Therapy for Autism

To the tune of every SLP's favorite song, "It's Time to Clean Up":

It's time to wake up, it's time to wake up...

It's time to eat breakfast, it's time to eat breakfast...

It's time to brush teeth, it's time to brush teeth...

This song is making me crazy, this song is making me crazy!

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I've been a bit remiss about blogging during the past week, but cut me some slack. It was Spring Break, and even though we stayed in Tallahassee, I was bound and determined to make it a memorable week for the kids. We went to the Tallahassee Museum, a traveling carnival in the mall parking lot, visited a creepy Easter Bunny and had a practice egg hunt with our friend EJ and his mom. And during the course of the week, this is what I learned from my kids:

carnival_billyMama1

Beans will grow absolutely anywhere ... except in a plant pot. I planted a pot of them too early in the year, sat the pot in the weak sunlight of one of our back windows and watched their sad little sprouts reach feebly for the light before withering and dying.

Billy, on the other hand, scattered dry lentils liberally around the yard while playing with them. (He likes to scoop them up out of an empty coffee canister and filter them through his fingers.) Now we have a yard full of wild lentils. It's kind of a beautiful metaphor really: Wherever he skips and plays, life springs straight up out of the ground.

If you push a double stroller with 75 pounds of child in it, you don't need any other workout.

It's really hard to explain the Easter story about Jesus' resurrection in a child-friendly way. Billy still gets upset when the Backyardigans go over the rickety bridge. It's much easier to explain why a rabbit delivers eggs (because he's magic).

Easter egg coloring can be really boring. Egg peeling, though, is a great sensory activity.

Florida panthers are not black. But they are incredibly beautiful. Foxes sleep in the morning. So do alligators and skunks and black bears. They sleep a lot. And yelling, "Hey, bear," doesn't wake them up. I swear, though, one of them lifted up his paw and gave me the equivalent of the bear middle finger.

Yoga is a lot more fun with a kid. "Namaste" (NAH-mas-TAY) is Billy's new favorite word ... followed closely by "Mamaste," one he made up which seems to mean "Mama should do Downward Facing Dog while I jump on her back."

Carnies don't care about autism. If you're taller than 48 inches, you're not going in the spinning teacup.

The mall Easter Bunny is still just as terrifying as he was when I was a kid. To me.

The entire Disney "Cars" story, all 782 words of it, by heart. We read it at nap time and at bed time every day. I'm starting to see secret messages in the text, like the Da Vinci Code, Pixar-style.

Every moment can be a teaching moment -- but every moment doesn't HAVE to be. Sit down and take a deep breath sometimes. This was Billy's lesson to me when he laid down on the floor in the middle of a lesson about rabbits and how mammals don't actually lay eggs, put his hands over his ears and begged, "Please stop talking!" After that, we went outside and had a shaving cream fight.

And finally and most importantly, I learned that I can do this. I'm not proud of it, but at the beginning of the week, I was terrified of Spring Break. I panicked that I wouldn't be able to handle having both kids home all day every day, that Billy would somehow regress and become more autistic, that I would take him back to school on Monday and his teacher would ask, "What did you do to him?"

Instead, we've had our best week ever. Yesterday morning, he jumped into my bed, threw his arms around me and shouted, "You're my angel! I love you so much!" I can't wait until school lets out for summer.

Funny

"Carnies don't care about autism." One of the funniest things I've read all Autism Awareness Month!!! LOL!!!

We are STILL flapping from Spring Break...

and jumping and scripting BIG TIME. Just when EJ was ready to give up on seeing Mrs. Davis ever again, we start back to school. I actually am dreading summer somewhat as I know it is going to be a whole lot of routine changing going on (esp. when we go to DC for three weeks). Hence the conundrum...you want to expose your kids to different experiences and adventures, but it literally takes him three days to get over the excitement of it all. What to do??

JD in TLH

From Amanda

I so feel your pain. We had that experience after Christmas break. During Spring Break, poor Billy didn't get too much change in routine. We did try to go somewhere each afternoon, when possible, but I tried to keep his routine as same as possible up to nap time (which he didn't take ALL WEEK) and in the evening. And I used his same picture schedule that he used at school. And I still expected a huge to-do when he went back, but for some reason, he's been good as gold this week (fingers crossed and knocking on wood furiously). We had huge separation anxiety right before Spring Break, and since he's gone back to school -- none. Maybe he's just tired of me :-)

School Breaks

This is too funny. I think we all have the same anxiety about school breaks don't we? This is the first summer that Audrey is in a year-round school so I haven't had to plan every minute of it. But she does have a 2 1/2 week break in August...so whereas everyone else will be on the countdown for school to start, the pressure will just be starting for me. You wrote this during spring break and said that you couldn't wait for summer...hopefully you are still feeling the same way!

From Amanda Broadfoot

Hmm, I forgot I said that about summer break. Does the fact that I know EXACTLY how many days until school starts speak poorly for my coping skills?

Seriously, though, we ARE having a great time this summer. Got off to a slightly rocky start due to a month of incessant illness, but we're finding our stride. I try to keep the day full of activities (which I try to plan out the night before), INSIST on nap time (it's to all of our benefit that Mama gets a break), and hand my precious cargo over to their father at precisely 5:30 p.m. each evening!

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