LIFE IS A SPECTRUM / Vaccination Debate, Part Two

Boy, talking about vaccinations is like stirring up a hornet's nest. I've gotten some really interesting emails in the past 24 hours.

jenny-mccarthy

Yesterday, I blogged about my decision to vaccinate my kids. And the fact that Jenny McCarthy really really irritates me, because she rejects any science that conflicts with her personal opinions and accuses mothers who don't agree with her of not being willing "to do what it takes" to "cure" their kids' autism. I said that makes me want to punch her in the mouth, though she'd probably beat me up. Then several of my Facebook friends made some interesting comments, including several offers from some of my women friends -- beautiful, smart women whose input I regularly rely on -- with offers to beat up Jenny McCarthy on my behalf.

I joked that it sounded like a Pay-Per-View event, and we could air it as an autism fundraiser: Foxy Boxing for Autism. And various moms -- as well as women who just dislike Jenny McCarthy -- could take turns punching her in the mouth and explaining science to her. And another friend pointed out that one of the spokespeople for Autism Speaks was going to be on Celebrity Apprentice, so maybe we could get The Donald involved.

Last night, emails start rolling in. Apparently, some people didn't realize I was joking. And I'm flattered that you think I have clout to put such an event together, but I really don't think I could convince Donald Trump to get involved -- much less Jenny McCarthy. And no, I don't actually believe that Foxy Boxing for Autism is a good idea.

I probably did get a bit caught up in the exchange and come across as being a bit glib on the subject, when in fact, I'm not glib at all. I'm irritated, frustrated, often angry, sometimes scared and exhausted by the vaccination debate, but I'm not glib.

However, I refuse to stop laughing just because I have an autistic child. And this may shock some people, but sometimes autism is funny. We don't laugh at Billy, but we laugh about the things both are children do -- just as parents of normally developing children laugh. We didn't give up the right to smile when we had a child with special needs. We don't walk around with wounded expressions on our faces all the time, taking offense at the slightest comment. What a miserable life that would be.

Someone did make a good point though; one commenter pointed out that I claimed I wouldn't judge people who choose not to vaccinate their children -- when, in fact, my entire blog post was a judgment against said decision.

I'll give you that one. Saying, "I won't judge you," sounds good, but it's a lie. I'll say that I try not to be judgmental, because I know how hard it is to make any decision about your kids' health, to follow through, especially if your decision flies in the face of known science. But that is not what I judge you for.

No, my judgment -- and yes, it is there -- comes when you expose other people's children to risk. Some of those kids might not be as strong as your child. They might not be old enough yet for certain vaccinations and increasing their risk of exposure to disease should not be your right. So think about that the next time you go to the Health Department and tell them you're Amish so that you can get exempt from vaccinating your kid. You're making a decision that will affect all of us.

Now I'm done talking about this. It's tiresome and I've heard all the arguments a million times. So if you have any more to say about the evils of vaccination, please email Jenny McCarthy instead. And while you're at it, ask her if she's interested in Foxy Boxing for Autism.

Reader Comments

Vaccination Debate, Part II

Yes, it would be nice if we could coalesce around the common challenges that we face in the future, like getting insurance companies to cover speech therapy, like finding employers who will be willing to take a chance on hiring an adult with autism. Instead, it is much easier to be arm chair judges, so that's what we do.

I am with you on your take on this debate. As a pediatric ICU nurse, I watched healthy one month old babies gasping for precious air due to the whooping cough they caught from someone who had not been vaccinated against pertussis. I also watched a child suffer permanent brain damage from brain swelling caused by measles. Both of these diseases could be like smallpox, that is, eradicated from the U.S. and vaccinations not even given for it since 1972, but they aren't and they won't be and there is a reason why.

As you and I have discussed, in hindsight, the more subtle signs of autism were there early. I personally think autism is a genetic disease that is prompted by environmental factors. That COULD be vaccines, but I do not believe that vaccines, in and of themselves, cause autism. If you don't have the genes for it, no autism. Then again, maybe it was the water I drank as a child of the 70s or maybe it was the thousands of microwaved meals I ate in the 80s. Or, maybe it was something my mother took when she was pregnant with me in the 60s, back when women routinely smoke and drank alcohol during pregnancy. I don't know.

But I do know this; everything that EJ needs now is not going to helped by spending time, energy and money discussing how he got here. What is done is done; the challenges we face as a family living with autism are now and in the future. So, for me, enough with the division in our community over vaccines. Let the scientists do their research...I work with many of them and they are committed to figuring out that part of the puzzle. Let's move forward in getting our children the help we need from the insurance companies that I pay thousands of dollars a year that will cover other neurodevelopmental disorders, but won't cover services needed by my child with autism. Let's support each other through our frustrations and disappointments with the laughter and humor that only the parents of children with autism can understand ("Two guys with autism walk into a bar..."). Let's work to change our society's perception of what they think our children are supposed to be, instead of who they really are.

JD in TLH

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