Billy has developed his first celebrity crush. Well, it's his first if you don't count Lightning McQueen or Charlie Brown.
I'll bet when Annie Leibovitz was photographing her, Tina Fey never imagined the place of honor she would hold in our bathroom.
It's Tina Fey. There's an old, warped back issue of Vanity Fair in our bathroom, in which Fey appears on the cover in a sort of patriotic outfit. Inside, there's a photo spread of her in a skimpy outfit, dancing to Beyonce's “Crazy in Love,” according to the caption.
He is absolutely fascinated with this photo spread, studying it closely – and I mean closely, with his eyeballs practically touching the page. He imitates her dance poses with his arms, holds his head at the same angle as hers in the photos. He traces the limbs of her body with his chubby finger.
Before you get the wrong idea, this is how the scene plays out:
INT. MY BEDROOM – NIGHT.
I'm mindlessly surfing the Internet in bed when Billy comes barreling in a full tilt, shouting at the top of his lungs and running towards my bathroom.
BILLY: I NEED TO POO-POO! WHERE IS TINA FEY?!
I practically fall out of my bed in my efforts to assist him. I will do anything to make poo-pooing a success.
CUT TO:
INT. JUST OUTSIDE THE MASTER BATHROOM – A MOMENT LATER
Various magazines and catalogs come flying out.
ME (OFF-SCREEN): Can't you read Highlights?! How about the Toys R Us catalog?!
BILLY (OFF-SCREEN): Mamaaaaaaaaaa!! Need to poopoooooooooooooo!
Obviously, we MUST find Tina Fey then.
CUT TO:
INT. INSIDE THE MASTER BATHROOM – A MINUTE AFTER THAT
Billy is perched happily atop the toilet with his face close to an inappropriate part of Tina Fey's body. I am slumped against the wall, exhausted.
BILLY: Tiny Fey is very talented.
(He has heard me say this.)
Then ...
Billy stands up and claps.
BILLY (CONT.): Yay! That was a good poo-poo!
(He has also heard me say that.)
Thank you, Tina Fey. Wherever you are. Thank you.
Tina Fey
Saturday May 07 2011 08:12:26 am
stephanie
OMG! Hilarious! Such a boy to need a magazine to go poo-poo! I love Tina Fey too, Billy!
LMAO again!
Saturday February 05 2011 06:50:12 pm
jillsmo
This is hilarious. I especially like "Tina Fey is very talented." From what I've heard about her, she would probably really love this story.
Great Story!
Friday February 04 2011 04:31:06 pm
Christine
I love that! You should send it to Tina Fey.
Tina
Friday February 04 2011 10:34:38 am
Maura
I love Tina Fey. Billy has excellent taste.
Have a great weekend, Amanda!
A New Job for Tina
Friday February 04 2011 01:57:51 am
Cheryl D.
I'm sure Tina will be beyond thrilled to know she helps Billy poo!
Too funny
Thursday February 03 2011 08:44:35 pm
Sarah @ barefaced approach
Thanks for visiting my blog this week. I love this post. That little boy of yours is just too funny. I almost fell out of my chair reading this. Whatever gets the poop out and into the toilet, right?! HAHAHAHA!
Stopping by from SITS! :)
Thursday February 03 2011 03:25:28 pm
writerwoman61
I love Tina Fey, although I can honestly say I've never taken her into the bathroom with me (Jim and I recently watched Date Night, which would be fun for you and Dave, but highly inappropriate for Billy)!
Wendy
This Woman Has Saturated Every Market Now
Thursday February 03 2011 02:41:18 pm
Big Daddy
It's official. Tina Fey has saturated every market known to mankind and then some. Movie star, comedian, TV star, toilet trainer. What's next? Pope?
Btw, Griffin's first crush was Katy Perry.
Total 10 comments