It's Sunday, and the Broadfeet are going to church.
For a long time, I didn't go. It wasn't for any particularly big or important reason. I was lazy and given the opportunity, I preferred not to get out of bed on Sunday morning.
After I had a child, I wanted to find a church. At that time, if I'm honest, my interest was probably as much social as anything else. I wanted Billy to have the kind of fun, joyful church experience I had growing up. My church group performed music and plays, went on trips together, went bowling and roller skating. It was great.
I've written before about the difficulty in finding a church that would embrace my special needs child and his challenges. I'm not going to write more about that today. I'll just say that I feel it's nothing short of miraculous that we eventually found Good Samaritan.
Over the last couple of years, from Billy's autism diagnosis until now, I've been on a kind of spiritual journey. Of course, that makes my thought process sound a lot more coherent than it usually is.
Take prayer, for instance. I've always prayed. I always found comfort in it without really thinking about it. But it's been really hard over the last couple of years to know what to pray. Do I ask God to take the autism out of Billy? If I think He's capable of that, why not ask Him why He hasn't already done it? Why not ask Him why one kid is neurotypical and another completely unable to speak? A lot of my prayers end with, "You can read my mind - could you just pick out the good stuff and ignore the rest?"
Then I feel so guilty. I remind myself how lucky I am. I've known dear friends who have lost children, and they would love to have the problems I have. And yet, many of them seem to have unwavering faith.
Despite my inner conflicts, though – or maybe because of them – I still find comfort in my prayers. Even when they're little more than, “I don't know what to say ...”
Billy's love of church is pure and unconflicted. He likes the candles and the playground and the lovely women who look after him. He belts out Sunday School songs at every opportunity, and he prays easily. He does not like wearing suits or lots of talking. Last week, we had an African-themed service, led by several Nigerian members of our congregation. Billy got to play a drum during the music and dance to the offering plate. If he has an idea of heaven, I imagine that's pretty close to it.
I haven't had the best track record of teaching him about religion. It's hard to know what kinds of concepts he can handle. He loves the Nativity story – there are animals and a baby and kings and stars -- all things he's really big on. Easter, though, was a story we decided to save for later.
He loves the Old Testament: Jonah is the MAN as far as Billy is concerned. Ditto to Noah and David during his giant-fighting days. The New Testament is kind of thin on giant-fighting but he does get a kick out of the song about Zacchaeus, the tiny tax collector who climbed up a sycamore tree.
The only time I've ever attempted to talk to him about the afterlife was when our cat, Biggie, died. Dave had just called me from the vet's office to tell me that Biggie couldn't be saved from her kitty virus. I was crying.
Billy: Mama is crying.
Me: Yes. I'm sad, because Biggie ... is in Heaven. (At this point I realize I'm already in over my head.)
Billy: (looking around) Where is Biggie?
Me: (deep breath) She has gone to Heaven to ... to be Jesus' cat. (I have no idea where that came from.)
Billy: (face like thunder) NOT Jesus's cat! BILLY'S cat!
And he ran screaming from the room. I realized that I had inadvertently given him the impression that either Jesus had stolen his cat or Biggie had shown a complete lack of loyalty and dumped him for a celebrity. Either way, not good.
But his heart is tender, and on some level, he must have forgiven both of them. Because he prays, easily.
Every night, Billy tells God the same thing. It's a simple prayer I said to him once and he has, in true Billy style, remembered it and repeated verbatim ever since. It's a prayer free of doubt or soul-searching or conflict.
“Dear God,” he says, “Thank you for my whole family. Please keep them safe. I love you. Amen.” Then every time he looks up with me with bright eyes and demands, “Can YOU say 'Amen?'”
Amen.
Reader Comments
Cheryl of Little Bit Quirky is my guest blogger today, and I'm delighted to say that she's also my friend. One of the many amazing, inspiring, hilarious writers I've met online, Cheryl is also the mother of a beautiful six-year-old girl with Asperger's. As Cheryl's award-winning blog will show you, an autism spectrum diagnosis in the family doesn't mean you stop laughing, loving and finding joy in every day. It also doesn't spare you many of the same frustrations that every parent faces -- plus, admittedly, a few quirky extras.
She shares a few very funny memories of life with her daughter in this week's Special Needs Blog Hop, takes us on an interesting shopping trip to Toys R Us in Is The Poop Real, and she speaks, heart-felt, about the challenges that many of us face with choosing to be mothers later in life at D is For Dinosaur. And today, as you'll read below, she talks about an important, sobering issue that affects all mothers everywhere.
Another member of the Spring Chicken Tribe of special needs moms in The SITS Girls network, Cheryl is also the featured blogger at SITS today! Check out her well-deserved spotlight here! And don't forget to stop by Little Bit Quirky and say, "Hi!" I'll bet you stick around and keep reading ...
Take it away, Cheryl ...
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Baby Blues and More
Know someone with an autistic child? This week, ask them how they're doing.
I waited so long to have a baby! First, it took me forever to fall in love with the right guy and get married. Because of this, I didn't have my daughter until I was 38 years old.
Considering that I had never changed a diaper before having my daughter, I had no idea what I was getting myself into! I found myself to be incredibly depressed after the birth. I did have some problems at the end of my pregnancy and had to have my baby over 4 weeks early to prevent her from being stillborn (we got incredibly lucky on that one). Because of this, my daughter had to spend two weeks in the NICU. It was so hard leaving the hospital without her! In addition to all this, my mom was having health problems and had a series of surgeries scheduled, so she wasn't able to come out to help me with the baby.
After having the baby, I found myself crying all the time. My husband encouraged my OB to prescribe me anti-depressants, which I initially didn't think were necessary. I didn't have a firm grasp on knowing how much of my depression was due to a case of the baby blues and how much of it was due to my mother's health problems. We did some research on the medication, and it didn't seem like the right thing to do. Because my daughter was born a little early, she had a hard time staying awake for feedings, which is a big reason why she had to be in the NICU. A lot of her feedings had to be delivered via a feeding tube. A side effect of the anti-depressants was drowsiness for the newborn. This was something I didn't want to increase.
I couldn't understand why I wasn't happy. It was a miracle that my daughter wasn't stillborn. Having a baby was something I wanted for so many years! Yet, I felt like the world's most inept mother. Nothing seemed to come easily! When breast-feeding finally seemed to be working, my daughter became extremely bloated and started projectile vomiting. It turned out that she was unable to digest the proteins in my breast milk, so I had to follow an elimination diet. I wasn't allowed to eat anything containing dairy, soy, nuts, peanuts, eggs, fish, and shellfish. When my daughter was about 8 weeks old, my mother passed away. I was a mess!
What helped me a lot was a phone call. A woman I hardly knew called me to make sure the baby blues weren't getting the better of me. She was a wife of a coworker of my husband, and she was a family therapist. Initially, I had assumed my husband asked her to call me since I had gotten so crazy. She assured me he didn't. She called me because the same thing had happened to her, and she wanted to help me. In fact, she was so moved by her own experiences that she pursued her Master's degree in counseling because of it. She did her thesis on older woman becoming moms. Out of her universe of over 30 women who were over 30 years of age, every single one of them felt exactly as we had: inept and the world's worse mother. Women who have excelled in the workplace and had so much independence have a harder time adjusting to motherhood. We're not use to being so out of control of our environment. Add in the lack of sleep and the hormones and look out!
After having this phone conversation, I felt the great weight of depression leaving me! All I needed to hear was that I was normal--I was not alone in feeling the way I did. I honestly was on the verge of going on medication! All I needed to hear were those simple words--"You are not alone!"
Not long after that, Brooke Shields came out with her book on postpartum depression, "Down Came the Rain." I didn't read the book, but I remember being so thankful that this topic was out in the public domain! I'm sure it helped many women understand that they weren't alone either! Maybe this helped some women to avoid medication, like me! Maybe it encouraged other women to get medication who truly needed it! I think it was great that Brooke Shields took a subject that was taboo and got people talking about it! Fantastic!
This summer, unfortunately, has seen a few cases of mothers murdering their children with autism. It has raised the ire of mothers on the parenting boards screaming for justice for the poor murdered children. I'm sure there will be justice. But to me, the real story is what drove these women to commit these horrible acts of violence. I really think there are a lot of parallels with postpartum depression. True, there are no fluctuating hormones, but there's also no end in sight for these mothers and other mothers raising children with severe autism. I used to attend a support group for mothers of children with special needs. I heard stories of how they had to change diapers and shower their 13 year-old boys. How they had to deal with their children hitting and biting them. How they had to deal with their children never being able to talk--never being able to say, "I love you." How their children had endless tantrums because the world was just too light or too noisy for them. How they had to deal with decreasing state budgets that meant less respite support. I honestly don't know how these women managed. It was heart-breaking to me.
My daughter is extremely high-functioning. We have no doubt that she'll be placed in gifted classes and will attend college someday. She's capable of having friendships with her typical peers. We even have hopes that over time, she'll be so high-functioning that she won't be considered to be on the spectrum anymore. Nevertheless, I had to deal with my own depression at times. This was mostly an issue before we had her diagnosed and had interventions like behavior therapy that helped her so much. It was hard dealing with her tantrums. She'd cry if I made a left turn while driving, but she wanted me to make a right turn. She had endless tantrums over weird, mundane things. It was really hard to cope.
What do mothers do when their children show no sign of progress? What supports are in place to help them? Apparently, more needs to be done. Oh yes, we can describe the mothers who kill as evil and horrible, but does this prevent other cases from happening? I think we need to come up with ways to help women before problems begin.
In my case, I've been impressed that every single interventionist that has been through my door has pulled me aside at some point and asked me how I'm handling the stress of the situation. They've all stated the importance of "me time." Because my daughter has done so well, I've found the stress and depression quickly went away as well. I'm lucky! Regarding the mothers who've committed murder, I can't help but wonder if anyone had taken the time to ask them how they were doing and provided them the help they needed before they murdered their children. Something tells me they didn't have any kind of support--any kind of safety net to help them out. That's terrible, and of course, the ultimate victims were their children.
This shouldn't happen in our society.
Reader Comments
Baby Blues and More
Cheryl, you've made an excellent point about the stress that some parents have from dealing with their autistic child. There is nothing more unnatural than a woman killing a child, especially a mother killing her own child. So, that sad act in itself certainly demands exploring to hopefully prevent anything similar from ever happening again. I'm glad to know that you have survived tremendous challenges and have gotten to the point of experiencing joy in your life. Keep up the good work of being a wonderful mother!
Well Said!
Cheryl, this was so well written! I had postpartum depression so terribly after my oldest was born...it was horrifying. I felt like I just couldn't do anything right, I was crying all the time, feeling angry at my husband for no apparent reason. It got better pretty quickly, thankfully, only to rear its ugly head around the time my boys were diagnosed. I definitely think parents dealing with autism or any other special needs have high stress, and the support we give each other is very important.
Great post, Cheryl. Isn't it amazing how much of an encouragement it can be to have someone take two minutes to ask, "How are you doing?" Especially when they ask in a way that shows they want to hear your answer. The REAL one...not just the typical "Fine" response. You've encouraged me to be that person to someone else today. =)
Great post! I love it when women are so open and honest about their mothering experiences. Only through total honesty are we able to help other mothers, just like you said, feel normal!
I too, had some PPD. It was hard to tell if it was situational or a chemical imbalance. My daughter had some physical problems that made it impossible for her to breastfeed. I felt like the rug had been pulled out from underneath me. While pregnant, it never occurred to me that there are some breastfeeding problems that are just not "fixable". Once I realized that a death had occurred- the death of having a normal breastfeeding relationship with my daughter, and then started treated the experience like a death, i.e. giving it the full mourning experience (instead of saying things to myself like, "she is getting your milk!" what's the big deal?!" she's healthy, that's all that matters!), did I start to feel better.
So true...
Cheryl...my hat goes off to you for talking about something that a lot of people don't even take the time to think about! There's the guilt over NOT feeling right, and NOT being the kind of mom we want to be, and NOT being the kind of wife we'd like to be, and NOT being the overall person we know that we CAN be..... it becomes like a vicious circle when we realize all of the responsibilities that pile up before us need to be addressed regardless of what kind of a day we're having.
While I didn't suffer postpartum depression, I certainly went through the post-adoption blues....and it was hard to describe to people WHY I was always constantly feeling tired, defeated and overwhelmed.
I also wonder just how some moms can do it while maintaining their sanity. Your comment about supporting other moms is absolutely crucial. Unfortunately I find that many women (yes...other moms) have a tendency to want to tell us what we "should" do.....somehow if we just listen to the advice of these other folks our problems would miraculously disappear (....yeah, they have no idea how to live with our kiddo or what we're going through!) Part of providing support entails embracing of the other person's reality even though we may not understand it entirely.
Chris
Great post Cheryl! I'm sure at the time you wondered why you were feeling as you did, but looking back how could you not feel overwhelmed with emotion? I can't imagine losing a mother in the midst of everything else that you were dealing with. I love the message of support!
The miracle of blogging
I think one of the greatest things blogging can do is allow people to be honest about pain and struggles about which people used to keep quiet. Postpartum depression is a primary example. Reading one woman stand up and say, "I felt it. I got through it. I understand it and I'm here for you," might just be the message of support that one person in crisis needs to hear.
Thank you again, Cheryl for such a moving and articulate post.
What a heartfelt post! Thanks for presenting the other side of the story in such a clear way. Often times we rush to judgment on people without taking any thought about what drove them to that point.
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I don't get it. Where's the button to make it talk?
I'm absolutely serious about putting a moratorium on toys in our house. This Christmas is going to be different. They're still young enough that spending time with their parents isn't an eye-roll-inducing exercise and I want to focus on experiences this year, instead of stuff.
Maybe we'll create some new traditions – at least one or two – that we'll keep up. At the very least, no more EVIL toys will lurk, hidden, in my home and as soon as the batteries wear out on all the talking toys we own, they're going mute. If anybody wants a doll or train to talk in this house, they're going to have to develop some mad ventriloquism skills.
Besides, few of the toys we've spent good money on even get played with; most are lying around in piles or lurking in the dark, waiting for me to step on them and develop weird lower-case-z-shaped bruises on the bottom of my foot.
No, my kids favorite playthings are the following:
1. The box in which any one of their thousands of toys was once packed – as well as all the other empty boxes and plastic containers in the recycling bin.
2. Our yard full of colorful dry, crispy leaves.
3. Actual pots and pans – so much better than their cute plastic ones that FIT the play kitchen. We keep having to rescue actual kitchen utensils from the sand box. Who knew what a good digging tool a potato masher could be? Actually, until Dave told me, I didn't even know what a potato masher was.
4. Bugs. Willow lies on her stomach next to them, waves and says, “Hi, bug!” to every single one.
5. Sand. Any place. Any time.
6. Water. Ditto. Bath time in our house is part rave, part badger fight.
7. The expensive shutter blinds that used to beautifully adorn each window (installed by previous owner; we're not that stupid) -- until Billy played “Window Circus” (you'll have to ask him) and tried to ride them.
This doll smells funny.
8. Squirrels. Luckily, they can't catch them. We have, though, had a few close calls.
9. Each other.
10. My bras. (??!!)
One big gift we're going to give ourselves is a back yard makeover by our incredibly talented friend Meghan Mick at Design From The Ground Up. Meghan, who blogs at Play of the Land, designs natural play spaces -- for individuals, preschools, churches, community parks, you name it. She uses natural materials and local plant life to create play spaces that inspire imaginations -- and don't require batteries. Check out her gallery of creations; it's breathtaking!
Reader Comments
Wow!
I'm blown away by Designs From the Ground Up! What an incredible idea!
I'm with you. The talking toys must die.
All talking toys must die.
Talking toys will be the death of me. They talk when they're not supposed to, and freak me out on a consistent basis.
And seriously- why is it always the BOX that is more fun? And I am very very jealous of your impending new playspace.
Why do I keep falling for it?!
I totally know what you mean! I always see these thinks that I JUST HAVE to have.... for them. And it's always a waste of money. My boys love all the same stuff! Lol, it's better that way, but it's so hard to deny myself the indulgence of buying these toys that I fantasize about them spending endless hours loving. =)
My boys were the same. My youngest is 8 now and only recently he started actually playing with and enjoying all his toys to the fullest.
But if he sees a huge empty box from an appliance all bets are off,lol.
Stopping by to say hi from Sits
What no iPad?
I can't believe you missed another excuse to showoff! At least I don't think it should qualify as a toy per se. Audrey is with you on the sand, water, and squirrels. Bras? Hmmm...only if they're on me.
I hear ya!
Its nice to know I not the only parent with kids that have it out for our blinds. We are currently down to 4 blinds out of 11.
Great Playthings
My daughter likes a lot of those playthings too! Maybe I should forgo shopping for toys and just bring in a bunch of bugs! She'd like that more!
Nah, I don't like that idea.
Enjoy your backyard makeover! That should be awesome!
Gosh!
Goodness! ... from the ground up is designing your back yard! I 'm so jealous. I have no doubt it will look amazing, I love their work :)
Oh I hear you on this list! My daughter was, and still is (at age 9) a lover of boxes. One of her favourite activities as a toddler was to unpack the drawer where I kept towel, cloths and flannels - those cloths used to become everything from hats to dolls. Just lovely to watch :)
We could do sand and water over here all day all the time and the blinds are the main attraction in our new house.
I'm excited for you over your new yard, her designs are amazing!
Baby steps in the yard
Dave said I should probably let everyone know that we aren't having a world-renowned playground installed in our back yard. We don't really have that kind of dough to throw around. But the great thing about Meghan's company is that she can do something as simple as design the layout/plantings so that you can do a lot of the work yourself -- all the way up to the whole kit-and-kaboodle.
We're going to start with a few introductory steps: Rain barrel, butterfly garden, vegetable garden, some pathways with native plants. And slowly add elements as/when we can.
Her whole philosophy is something I really believe in -- the idea that kids NEED to interact with their natural surroundings. It has an amazing calming effect on kids with all kinds of issues.
Hi Amanda:
I love that you're putting the garden in...will satisfy Willow's bug fascination (I have that myself), and their love of water and dirt. It will also give them a feeling of accomplishment if they're allowed to grow their own stuff!
Wendy
Total 12 comments
My daughter's preschool recently sent home information about a new program they were joining. This site, called Original Works, would allow parents to order our kids' amazing works of art in the form of coffee mugs, T-shirts, coasters, mouse pads, wall clocks -- you name it.
Very cool idea if you have a budding artist in the family.
But I'm familiar with the artist in question. We have quite a few of her pieces in our home, adorning our "Wall Galleries:"
|
|
Our "Window Gallery" ...
And what we like to tell guests is our "Floor Gallery" ...
I was curious how many T-shirts of THIS we might be able to order:
And this one clearly has "Wall Clock" written all over it:
And I was thinking that this one is definitely the Christmas card this year ...
... when the school sent home THIS as our first available masterpiece to order:
Exactly what time yesterday do they think I was born?
Reader Comments
Beautiful Artwork!
I think her art is good!
It's funny, because I'm going to blog about this on Thursday! My daughter's drawings generally look like someone two years younger than her drew them. But during the last month, she drew two pictures that were amazing! So I'm confused...does she have talent or doesn't she?
Why would you buy what you get for free every day? Why does that sound dirty?
Angry Potty
My favorite by far is the angry face at the potty. That basically sums up how I feel about potty training. Classic.
I have similar artwork...
drawn with black crayon on my good couch! I was so angry, but fortunately, was able to turn the cushion over. I'm just praying she doesn't draw on the clean side now!
We've thrown away many art projects done by a teenage "buddy"
When we send GL to an event where they assign him a one-on-one helper, we want the helper to help him navigate the social Bay of Sharks. He's usually not that interested in arts and crafts, and when he chooses to draw, his drawings have a characteristic preschool style. Why would we want an art project from somebody else's kid?
Total 5 comments
Apparently, we're teaching our autistic kids about emotions so that they can grow up and fit in with people who think they've had a "bad day" if a bunch of people they don't know lose a game they watched on TV. If Billy grows up to understand that, maybe he can explain it to me ...
Reader Comments
V-Log
I am so with you on the professional / college sports thing. I used let that stuff eat me up inside until about twenty years ago I quit it cold turkey. I couldn't tell you who won the last Superbowl if I tried. I do watch MMA (Mixed Marital Arts) like the UFC, but only because I like watching guys beat the cr$p out of eachother.
Funny that Billy thinks he can change your emotions at will. Griffin does the same thing. Mid tantrum he will blurt out "YOU ARE HAPPY WITH ME! I AM GOOD BOY!" How wrong he is.
As the wife of a former college soccer player, I do have to question the utter sanity of some of those fans. But at least the fanatics in Europe and South America have grown up with that level of intensity. I really question the emotional health of my hubby who willingly and actively longs to be a part of the madness. =) A World Cup is on his bucket list and I would love to make it happen...I just don't know that I want to be there!
I also graduated from FSU and grew up on Seminole football. But I guess we really do have limited space on our list of emotional investments because it's been a while since I've had the energy left to care. Much.
Enjoyed your post, as usual!!!
I Love your Vlogs!
My daughter does a pretty good job with identifying emotions also, which is really cool.
I really want to get an iPad. Not for my daughter, but for me! LOL
Still loving the v-logs!
It's so nice to see you every week. Quit showing off that iPad!
Frivolous Mom
Oh I SO agree! I love this! You said it exactly how I would have. Love the Vlog!
I've got spirit, yes I do!
@BigDaddy: The next time someone assumes I have sports knowledge, I'm going to tell them that I follow MMA instead. That'll shut 'em up.
I want you to know that sometimes when you talk about Griffin, I get this little tingle, like I'm getting a glimpse into something like Billy's future. And it's a beautiful thing. If I can be half as good a parent as you and Mrs. BD by the time Billy enters middle school, I'll consider myself a huge success!
@Ashley: I have a soccer fan in my house too. I thought that was all I had. Little did i know that he was going to adopt all OUR country's sports too when he moved here. Now there is no season that ISN'T a sports season!
@Cheryl: I'll admit it: I'm a big fan of the bowling and poker games on the iPad :-) AND the fact that I can get my magazine subscriptions there. There's something for everyone!
@Lynn: Next week I interview the iPad about it's opinions on health care ...
@Heather: Great minds think alike! Thanks :-)
Total 6 comments
Amen
Sunday November 14 2010 11:20:29 am
Big Daddy
Amen!
I'm Glad You Found a Church You Like
Sunday November 14 2010 11:39:47 am
Cheryl D.
First, thanks for hosting me on Friday. I had so much fun and enjoyed reading the really nice comments everyone left.
This was another great post, Amanda! I think we just have to accept that life (or G-d) doesn't just hand us an easy journey, as much as we'd like it to be.
I loved Billy's reaction when you told him that your cat was Jesus' cat now. That was funny (although I'm sure at the time it was anything but).
Frivolous Mom
Sunday November 14 2010 01:25:34 pm
Heather
Our spiritual journeys, I believe are continual and always changing and evolving. The important thing, for me is to remember that it is only through the trials am I able to recognize and appreciate the blessings in my life.
I love this post!
a prayer I can relate to
Sunday November 14 2010 07:38:39 pm
Jen
That is a prayer I can relate to. Amen! I was raised Jewish, though not particularly religious. After losing my brother to cancer and having a son with autism, as well as a number of other things, I have lost what little faith I ever had. But I still identify as Jewish and enjoy the ritual of religion: the songs, the holidays, the traditions.
The image of Jesus stealing your cat cracked me up. I'm sure it wasn't funny at the time, but now...
Thank you
Monday November 15 2010 09:25:12 am
Maura
Well, you succeeded in making me cry. This is such a lovely and true post Amanda. Thank you for writing it.
My family has also struggled with finding a church. I have a very personal relationship with God, and pray daily. But I want to raise my kids in a church where everyone is accepted, without exclusions or judgements. That's a hard church to find. I'm glad you found yours.
Billy's relationship with religion is nothing short of beautiful. Hugs to your little one.
Angels need pets, too
Monday November 15 2010 03:54:46 pm
Rebecca C.
We found ourselves in a similar situation when my parents had to put their cat to sleep. I told the kids that an angel really wanted a cat, and that Gran and Papa kindly shared Zeo with her. That seemed to make them happy, but it wasn't a pet of their very own. Tough parenting moments! I also love to listen to Mikey (my two-year-old) pray and question me about God. He asked me the other day if God had hair. I think he was wondering about the crucifix we had just packed up for our move and whether Jesus had hair, but his curiosity was a good thing, I think. Anyway, great post! :)
Tuesday November 16 2010 07:37:05 am
Emma Jayne
Oh Amanda! What a touching post. We stopped going to church when my son was two because we were told there was no place for him to go....unless, of course, I wanted to run the special needs class by myself. For a 2000 member church. Uhhh, thanks but no.
At 16, my son has a deeper spiritual understanding than anyone I've ever known. So what he doesn't know the Bible from front to back! Apparently, he is getting "it" directly from the Source. :)
Thank you!
The journey goes on
Wednesday November 17 2010 12:16:52 pm
Alecta
I can't say what it's like trying to find a church for a special needs kid, but I can say that as a person on the spectrum it can be rough not only finding a place but an identity. I've been on a spiritual search since my early teens and grow a little more every day. I identify as an Atheist for simplicity's sake, spirituality is a spectrum in and of itself, with infinite shades. I'm planning on trying a Unitarian Universalist congregation in this coming week.
Good luck to you on your journey!
Wednesday November 17 2010 06:49:55 pm
Tonya
This is a wonderful post and something that many churches should think about when having nurseries and children's church. If we want everyone to come and feel welcome, we have to provide for the needs of the entire family.
There's a prayer for that.
Friday November 19 2010 12:17:11 am
Papa Bear
I just posted on this topic and linked this post and Church with the special needs child:
http://findmyaddress.blogspot.com/2010/11/church-with-special-needs-child.html
And when I read, "You can read my mind - could you just pick out the good stuff and ignore the rest?" I thought, "There's a prayer for that."
Sure enough, in the Book of Common Prayer, after the Prayers of the People, the Celebrant selects a concluding collect. One of the choices reads, "Almighty God, to whom our needs are known before we ask: Help us to ask only what accords with your will; and those good things which we dare not, or in our blindness cannot ask, grant us for the sake of your Son Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen."
Total 10 comments