Billy has become really interested in feelings lately. "Mama, how do you FEEL?" is a frequent question.
And he squints his big blue eyes and seems to really concentrate as I give my answer.
He seems dubious of simple emotions lately: happy, sad, silly and tired no longer cut it.
So I've tried to introduce slightly more complex emotions like frustrated, peaceful, confused, etc.
Which brings us to ...
INT. BILLY'S ROOM - NIGHT
It's bedtime. We've just tucked in, had a final story and he has said his prayers.
BILLY: Mama, what are you feeling please?
ME: (thinking about it) I feel peaceful. That's a quiet kind of happy that's good for bedtime.
He squints his eyes as though he doesn't believe me.
ME: And hungry. I have to go have my dinner now. How do YOU feel?
He considers this for a moment, staring thoughtfully at the ceiling. Then his eyes return to mine.
BILLY: I'm concerned.
ME: Concerned? That's a big word. Do you have a problem?
BILLY: Yes.
ME: Tell me about it. What are you concerned about?
BILLY: (emphatically) Mascara.
A beat.
ME: Mascara? Why are you concerned about mascara? Do you not know what it is? Do you not understand what it's for?
Another beat. He considers.
BILLY: Yes.
ME: Well. Mascara. It goes on ladies' eyelashes to make them ... um, darker and longer ... it's kind of like ... paint?
Billy's look has evolved from concerned to what I would call "alarmed."
ME: It's dress-up. Let's just leave it at that. No cause for concern, OK? Absolutely nothing to worry about with mascara.
Then I kiss him on the head and turn out the light.
BILLY: (in the dark) Mama? Are you peaceful?
ME: Yes I am.
...or grab my button!
BUY THIS BOOK!
(Billy and I are in it.)